Secret Service Confirms Cocaine Was Found In West Wing Phone Cubby Hours After Hunter Biden Visit

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by Tyler Durden
Thursday, Jul 06, 2023 - 09:55 AM

Update (5:15pm): The puzzle, wrapped in an engima, inside a bag of blow surrounding the "mystery" cocaine found in the White House is drawing in some of the world's most cunning detectives and brilliant minds.

One day after leaked radio intercepts revealed that a "mystery" substance was found over the weekend inside the White House and - after leading to a brief evacuation over hazmat fears - was "cocaine like", the US Secret Service on Wednesday confirmed what everyone already knew - the powdery substance found inside the White House over the weekend is cocaine.

While little new was revealed, secret service spokesman Anthony Guglielmi said that the cocaine was discovered in an area of the West Wing lobby where individuals can store their phones. The lobby is “a heavily traveled area” regularly accessed by both visitors and staff, White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre said Wednesday.

And now, the hunt for the coke fiend begins.

“The president thinks this is incredibly important to get to the bottom of,” she added, and surely every able-bodied FBI agent is on top of it.

The good news is that since every visitor to the White House is logged and every square inch of the premises is under constant video surveillance, the mystery won't last long...

... unless of course the White House webcam operator was previously in charge of the the Jeffrey Epstein suicide cams all of which "broke" just before the famous pedophile "killed himself."

And in totally separate news, Hunter Biden joined his father and other members of the Biden family at the White House Tuesday just hours after the cocaine was found, to take in the Fourth of July fireworks following a weekend getaway to Camp David.

President Biden and first lady Jill Biden were accompanied on the balcony of the South Portico by Hunter Biden, his son Beau Jr., first daughter Ashley Biden and other members of the first family.

“Welcome to your house, the White House. We’re just rentin’,” the 80-year-old president told military families, National Park Service staff and their families, and members of his administration and their families during brief remarks Tuesday night. He was also addressing the Chinese who were listening in on various bugs distributed across the residence.

Hunter Biden, who has not only acknowledged a prior addiction to crack cocaine but has repeatedly recorded himself smoking, snorting and otherwise ingesting the substance on dozens of occasions and who recently pled guilty to fluff misdemeanor charges over tax evasion and struck a deal on a gun charge, was also on the White House grounds Friday before heading off to Camp David with his father for the second weekend in a row.

Also today, the White House declined to say whether it would want to see a criminal prosecution if a specific individual were found to be responsible for bringing the cocaine into the complex, or whether staffers would face new drug tests or screening after the incident, for obvious reasons. 

Biden was briefed by his staff about the progress of the investigation, Jean-Pierre even though there clearly isn't any: after all, there can't be progress if "law enforcement" has already decided it will never find this mythical cocaine mastermind; as for the bought and paid for liberal PR firms posing as a "press", they have already got the memo to let it all blow over.

* * *


The Secret Service on Tuesday confirmed rumors from the day earlier that it was investigating an "unknown item" found inside the White House library on Sunday, which was described in radio traffic as a cocaine-like substance.

"On Sunday evening, the White House complex went into a precautionary closure as officers from the Secret Service uniformed division investigated an unknown item found inside a work area," Secret Service spokesperson Anthony Guglielmi said in a statement, adding that the D.C. fire department determined the substance did not present a threat... although it certainly could present Hunter Biden with hours of brand new video material for his infamous notebook.

In a dispatch with an 8:49 p.m. timestamp, a firefighter with the D.C. department’s hazardous materials team radioed the results of a test: “We have a yellow bar saying cocaine hydrochloride.”

The brief broadcast was logged on a website called, which allows people to listen to live and archived radio transmission from police and fire departments. One of the officials familiar with the investigation, speaking on the condition of anonymity to discuss an open case, said the 8:49 transmission was from the White House call Sunday night. The official described the amount of the substance as small, which likely means that most of it had already been consumed.

The discovery came two days after recovering crack cocaine addict Hunter Biden was last seen at the White House; yet even so there appears to be some "mystery" as to how the cocaine got there.

The Biden family arrived back at the White House for Independence Day celebrations as the Secret Service continues to investigate the finding.

Secret Service spokesman Gulielmi said that President Joe Biden was not in the executive mansion when the substance was discovered.

"The DC fire department was called to evaluate and quickly determined the item to be non-hazardous. The item was sent for further evaluation and an investigation into the cause and manner of how it entered the White House is pending," he said, laughably hinting that there was some "confusion" as to how crack got inside the Blowden Biden family's DC estate as it is in the process of being auctioned off to Beijing. Here's a thought: since Hunter has a habit of recording his every close encounter with crack cocaine, just check his cell phone's latest video recordings.

In its report, ABC notes that "Cocaine hydrochloride can be used as an anesthetic or to control bleeding, but it is also considered to have effects similar to crack cocaine, according to the study National Library of Medicine National Center for Biotechnology Information", which suggests that the type of cocaine found was of a particular variety especially near and dear to Hunter's heart.

"The physiological and psychoactive effects of cocaine are similar regardless of whether it is in the form of cocaine hydrochloride or crack cocaine (cocaine base)," the study says. You do learn something new every day.

The "item" was sent to a Secret Service lab for further testing, the sources said.

The White House on Tuesday referred reporter questions about the matter to the Secret Service, because what else could they say: "to pay for Hunter's crack addition, Joe had to sell even the Resolute Desk to Beijing." Of course, that's a silly joke: after all, just imagine what America's international allies - and enemies - would think if any of this Jerry Springer Special, live from the White House, turned out to be even remotely true...

The Biden's cocaine antics take place just days after the younger Biden reached a plea deal with Justice Department prosecutors to avoid jail time after lying on a federal form to purchase a firearm. He checked a box claiming that he did not use and was not addicted to illegal substances – a fact that would disqualify him from buying the gun. The form contradicting the timelines and claims made in Hunter Biden's own memoir.

Biden critics and conservative decried Hunter's plea deal, claiming that anyone other than the president's son would receive jail time for the same offense. The deal also saw Hunter plead guilty to two tax misdemeanors which would have been a felony - and meant prison time - for anyone else but the president's crack and whore-addicted son.

Come to think of it, there was plenty of reasons for Hunter to be celebrating in the aptly named China White house.