Things appear to be going off the rails for Whitney Tilson. Just days ago we wrote about how the failed hedge fund manager was spamming inboxes across Wall Street congratulating himself for calling the market bottom.
What followed appeared to be collective groaning among people on social media about how often Tilson's e-mail spam was hitting their inbox and how some people were having trouble unsubscribing from his list. In response, one social media user said of Tilson's e-mail list:
"They say herpes stays with you forever, but even it doesn't come 3-5 times per day."
Now Tilson is using his inbox spamming skills to try and sell a $6,000 "Founding Partner" membership to his newsletter. The catch? There's no real equity stake. The deal appears to just be $6,000 to gain "lifetime access" to Tilson's research. As part of Tilson's used-car-salesman-esque pitch of these $6,000 memberships, he recently put out what can only be described as an insanely cringeworthy video where he:
1. Says his newsletter "could be the most profitable financial relationship you ever enter"
2. Uses the term "the sky's the limit"
3. Says he envisions a day when becoming a "founding partner" could cost over $30,000
4. Compares membership in his newsletter to "an elite country club, like Augusta National"
5. Tells people they can find financial success that allows them to "Go on that dream vacation you've always wanted to"
6. ...Or "Pay off your mortgage early"
7. ...Or "Buy a condo in Costa Rica"
Finally, he assured the saps willing to hand over $6,000 to him that they will "become a part of my inner circle and I will always treat you like a VIP."
We'll pay $6,000 to not become a part of your inner circle, Whitney.
Failed Fund Manager @WhitneyTilson marketing $6000 "partnerships" in his firm, without offering any equity...#Readthefineprint— GuruLeaks (@Guruleaks1) April 20, 2020
cc: @BillAckman @SethKlarman @DavidEin @SECEnfDirectors pic.twitter.com/ytYMUt4BQd
Oh and again - don't get confused by the word "partner". You will be offered zero equity stake in Tilson's business for forking over $6,000. One of Tilson's recent e-mails states:
I'd love for you to become my "partner" – and watch the value of your "partnership" stake grow as our business grows.
Now by "partner", I do not mean receiving shares of my company or anything. Instead, Founding Partners gain access to every research product we at Empire Financial Research ever publish for life.
He finished that e-mail, which went out about noon EST on April 20, by stating:
You will never have another chance to become a "Founding Partner" in my business. Don't let this opportunity pass you by. You might kick yourself down the road if you do.
Just three hours later, another e-mail was sent out to his list that said:
This is your last chance....Remember, Whitney Tilson's "founding partner" offer will be much higher the next time you see it. Please, call us right away if you are still on the fence.
So, which is it? Never have another chance or inevitably will be available again in the future?
Recall, Tilson is most famous for blowing up two hedge funds before becoming a newsletter writer. As a reminder, Tilson famously
blew up closed Kase Capital Management in 2017 (5 years after shuttering its predecessor T2) after getting his ass handed to him by the market "sustained underperformance".
"My returns my first 12 years were much better than my returns the last 5 years," he said during a CNBC interview in 2016. "And that's sort of irritating and embarrassing. Because I'm a very public figure."
“Reporting sustained underperformance to you was making me miserable,” Tilson wrote to his investors in 2017.
He continued: "I couldn’t in good conscience continue to manage your money unless I had a high degree of confidence that I could turn things around within a reasonable time frame." And with that, he wasn't managing money anymore.
Recall, Tilson had relaunched his first fund, T2 Partners, as Kase Capital in 2012 after losing 24.9% in 2011.
In addition to hawking his newsletter, Tilson has also been spotted sending out e-mails about his most recent colonoscopy.
"I had a colonoscopy last week and, while the prep wasn’t so fun, overall it was a perfectly tolerable experience and I’m glad I did it," Tilson said in a 2017 e-mail he fired out to his mailing list.
He also made PowerPoint slides.
If you look really close at Whitney Tilson's asshole you can see that there is a Mariachi band in there. pic.twitter.com/n2OX4TY1sd— Senator Eloise Williams, CFA, MBA, PHD (doctor), (@thestinkmarket) April 16, 2020