North Korea Warns Of Attacks Against White House, Pentagon And Entire "Cesspool Of Terrorism" That Is America

The whole "North Korea hacking Sony" story had gotten so bizarre over the past week, there was nothing stopping it from jumping fully into the rabit hole. Which it did overnight when as the FT reported, North Korea warned of strikes against key sites in the US in retaliation for Washington blaming Pyongyang for the recent Sony cyber attack, saying any US punishment over the incident would lead to damage “thousands of times greater”.

The comedy continues:

Late on Sunday North Korea’s National Defence Commission said President Barack Obama was “recklessly” spreading rumours that Pyongyang was behind the cyber attack. Sony has pulled The Interview , a satirical film depicting the assassination of North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, after the hacking and subsequent threats of terrorist attacks against cinemas that screened it."

And now for the roaring laughter:

The NDC said its 1.2m-member army was ready to use all types of warfare against the US. “Our toughest counteraction will be boldly taken against the White House, the Pentagon, and the whole US mainland, the cesspool of terrorism, by far surpassing the ‘symmetric counteraction’ declared by Obama,” said the NDC statement, carried by official news agency KCNA.

Of course, the situation would be far less idiotic if it wasn't for the US being the lead provocateur this time: "The threat comes as US officials are scrambling to come up with ways to retaliate after the FBI announced on Friday that it believed North Korea was behind the cyber attack against Sony, and warned that it would impose “costs and consequences” on those responsible."

Kim and his army generals watching Obama warn about "costs"

So, just for the record, let's get this straight: North Korea (the same North Korea from Hacking Collective Anonymous Says FBI Is Lying, "North Korea Is Not Source Of Hack") hacked one of the world's largest, most secure corporations. In fact, if one looks very closely, one can see in the following photo of a night time North Korea in context, just where North Korea's crack hacking commandoes burn the midnight oil.

As for just what the North Korean nuclear onslaught of America would look like, well we'll just have to wait for the next Sony Picture film to break it all down, coming some time in late 2015.