How Christy Turlington Cost Apple $17 Billion: The Annotated Apple Watch Event

Well that escalated quickly.

AAPL stock surged exuberantly on news of a gold Macbook - ran Friday's high stops... then started to tumble on the Apple Watch release, but things got really bad once the Christy Turlington cheesey infomercial kicked in:




The commentary in The Verge was harsh:

  • And Christy Turlington Burns is here!
  • "She is incredibly impressive. She is Christy Turlington Burns."
  • I can't even with this video. It's about maternal health in Africa, with Apple Watch product placement.
  • Christy Turlington Burns sadly does not ride a giraffe onto the stage.
  • This is so embarassing I want to die.
  • "This is my fashion favorite I have to say." "Yes, oh yes."
  • Christy wants to beat her marathon record, and the Apple Watch is going to help her get there. Because it injects dopamine directly into your bloodstream.
  • Christy is going to do a blog on about running omg.

And the punchline:

  • Apple has reached the "forced fake Q&A with celebrities" portion of its keynote lifecycle.

End result not good, now that even the fanboys appear to be turning off:


Losing $17 billion in market cap... or 1.7 million $10k Edition watches