McDonalds Reports Disturbing Numbers, Misses Across The Board; Stock Jumps

Moments ago McDonalds reported its latest sales numbers which were basically atrocious, worse than usual, and missed across the board. From BBG:

  • MCD MARCH TOTAL COMP SALES DOWN 3.3%, EST. DOWN 2.1%
  • MCD MARCH US COMP SALES DOWN 3.9%, EST. DOWN 3.0%
  • MCD MARCH EUROPE COMP SALES DOWN 2.9%, EST. DOWN 1.6%
  • MCD MARCH APMEA COMP SALES DOWN 7.3%, EST. DOWN 4.5%
  • APRIL GLOBAL COMPARABLE SALES ARE EXPECTED TO BE NEGATIVE

At this point the operational challenges facing the company are clearly unfixable in its current iteration which is broken beyond merely a CEO switch, and not even a "buy 1 Big Mac, get 3 Big Macs (and Joseph A Banc suits) free" strategy will fix the ailing fastfood maker, whose secular collapse is best captured by the charts below.

 

So what does the stock do? The algos are "luvin' it."

Why? Because with the company clearly facing an operating dead end it will have no choice but to "grow" earnings through even more buybacks.