As the de minimus supply of Apple Watches meets the stupendous demand from wrists everywhere, The Daily Mash offers one satirically-conjured man's perspective of his first day wearing the device...
Sales manager Tom Logan’s new Apple Watch has been unexpectedly ridiculed by his work colleagues.
32-year-old Logan felt confident that his futuristic timepiece would attract admiring glances rather than unflattering Knight Rider comparisons.
He said: “I had it all planned out – not saying anything about it, but then somebody just notices and goes ‘is that the new Apple Watch?’. I would respond simply with a wry Clooney-esque smile and they would mouth the word ‘awesome’.
“What actually happened is somebody said ‘what the fuck’s that weird-looking thing?’
“I explained that it was the brand new Apple Watch and they went ‘HAHAHA’ in a really deliberately hurtful way. The accounts assistant said it was the opposite of a fanny magnet and everyone cracked up.
“Then everyone started pretending to talk into their watches, saying things like ‘come in KITT, I am a massive tosser, please help’.”
By 10am Logan had removed the watch. He explained: “It wasn’t because people were being sarcastic, I just had a hot wrist, everyone gets a hot wrist sometimes.
“People get jealous of early adopters.”
But it gets worse... Do not drop your up-to-$17,000 watch... ever!
Especially not from your wrist!