How does a company which reveals its business is so disastrous it not only has to withdraw revenue and volume guidance "due to uncertainty around energy-related markets, F/X impact and U.S. fuel price" and says that:
- Q2 to Date Revenue and Carload Growth Well Behind Q1 Trends
- Second Quarter Energy Segment Decline Accelerating
- Service Issues are Impacting Growth
- Key US Economic Indicators Have Deteriorated Since Late ‘14
- Challenging U.S. Rail Volume Environment in Q2
... cover it all up in hopes of avoiding a total collapse in its stock price? Simple: it announces a $500 million stock buyback program.
Because the more one's business deteriorates, the greater the buyback.
To wit, and do not the in your face "red-alert" color scheme. Golf clap for that:
It gets better:
And the punchline: