Earlier this week, we brought you "A Cynical Look At Tim Cook's Commencement Speech," which outlined an LA Times piece that took aim at what one columnist suggested was a disingenuous (if standard) effort on the part of Apple's CEO when he spoke to students at George Washington.
Today, we bring you a commencement speech for the real world.
"In effect, you are graduating with a mortgage but no house. And what did you get? A subprime education."
"To those who majored in gender studies, film deconstruction, or any other of today's academic fads, to you I have this advice: when this commencement speech is over, do not bother looking for a job. Instead go straight to the unemployment office."
"Graduates, you have been saddled with debt and bad ideas. Good luck, you're going to need it."