Michelle Obama Takes A Shot At "Make America Great Again"

Submitted by Kaitlan Collins via The Daily Caller,

Michelle Obama said Hillary Clinton is the only candidate in this election who she trusts to be president.

(Photo: SAUL LOEB/AFP/Getty Images)

(Photo: SAUL LOEB/AFP/Getty Images)

The first lady addressed the Democratic National Convention at the Wells Fargo Center in Philadelphia Monday night.

“Thank you so much,” Michelle said. “It’s hard to believe that it’s been eight years since I first came to this convention. Remember how last time I told you about my husband’s character and conviction? The traits we’ve seen every day in the White House? I also told you about our daughters — how they are the heart of our hearts.”

Obama said she worries about what her children will learn from the next president.

“How do we insist that the hateful language they hear from public figures on tv does not represent the true spirit of this country? How do we explain that when someone is cruel, you don’t stoop to the level of the bully? That when they go low, we go high. With every word we utter, every action we take, we know our kids are watching us.”

“We know our words and actions matter, not just to our girls, but to kids across the country,” she said. “Kids, like the little black boy who looked at my husband with wonder and said, ‘Is my hair like yours?'”

(Photo: ROBYN BECK/AFP/Getty Images)

(Photo: ROBYN BECK/AFP/Getty Images)

“In this election, and every election, it’s about who will have the power to shape our children for the next four or eight years of their lives. I am here tonight, because in this election, there is only one person who I trust with that responsibility, only one person who I believe is truly qualified to be President of the United States, and that is our friend Hillary Clinton.”


“See, I trust Hillary to lead this country because I’ve seen her lifelong devotion to this nation’s children — not just her own daughter who she has raised to perfection — but every child who needs a champion.”


“When she didn’t win the election eight years ago, she didn’t get angry or disillusioned. Hillary did not pack up and go home. As a true public servant, Hillary knows this is so much bigger than her own desires and disappointments. So she proudly stepped up to serve our country once again.”


“There were plenty of moments when she could have decided this was too hard. The price of public service too high. But here’s the thing: what I admire most about Hillary is that she never buckles under pressure. She never takes the easy way out. Hillary Clinton has never quit anything in her life.”


“When I think about the kind of president I want for my girls, that’s what I want.”

Then Obama took a shot at Donald Trump, without even saying his name.

“When you have the nuclear codes at you fingertips and military at your command, you can’t make snap decisions,” she said. “You can’t have thin skin or a tendency to lash out. You need to be steady and well-informed. I want a president with a record of public service, someone who’s life work shows our children we don’t chase fame and fortune for ourselves.”


“I want a president who will teach our children that everyone in this country matters.”

(Photo: SAUL LOEB/AFP/Getty Images)

(Photo: SAUL LOEB/AFP/Getty Images)

In this election, I’m with her. Hillary Clinton has the guts and grace to keep coming back to put those cracks in the glass ceiling. That is the story of this country.”


“I wake up every morning in a house that was built by slaves, and I watch my two black daughters playing with their dogs on the White House lawn,” she said. “Because of Hillary, my daughters now take for granted that a woman can be president of the United States.”


Don’t let someone tell you this country isn’t great — that we need to make it great again. Because, right now, this country is the greatest country on Earth.


“Between now and November, we need to do what we did eight years ago — four years ago — we need to get our there and vote. We need to pour every last ounce of our strength into electing Hillary Clinton president.”

So that is what Michelle Obama actually said.

*  *  *

We wonder if, as The Onion notes, this is what she really wanted to say...

Her face fixed in an expression of apathetic detachment as she took the stage Monday night to raucous cheers and applause, First Lady Michelle Obama reportedly began her address to the Democratic National Convention by exhaling audibly and remarking that she would never get the past eight years of her life back.


“Well, that was a colossal waste of my time,” said Obama with an air of weary irritation before reminding the audience she had been 45 years old at her husband’s inauguration and now she was “fifty-fucking-two.”


“You know, looking back on all of it, I’m not sure there was a single worthwhile moment from the past eight years of my life. Nearly a decade down the drain. Jesus. Whatever, it’s almost over.”


The first lady then reportedly squinted at the prepared statement scrolling on the teleprompter in front of her, let out a fed-up sigh while slowly shaking her head, and walked silently offstage.