The most insensitive survey, the results of which you might never see

"Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner."

-James Bovard

I am sick and tired of the MSM and government's useless puffball surveys, and have been searching for better social, economic, and political data on the internet.  However, what little information I found is old, hard to obtain, and not very interesting or informative. 

Building on Mark Dice's entertaining video interviews, I would like to see the complete results of a confidential survey with questions like the following:

__ has less than $1,000 in cash saved for an emergency or unexpected expense

__ has not paid off all credit cards at least once this year  

__ has more than one credit card with a balance greater than 60 days


__ is obese (BMI>30) 

__ spouse or significant other is obese

__ has one or more obese children 


__ has multiple convictions for assault or battery

__ has multiple convictions for a sex offense

__ has multiple convictions for driving while intoxicated or under the influence


__ is on disability, but able to use the internet and social media

__ is on disability, but able to answer a telephone when it rings

__ is on disability, but able to drive a vehicle or golf ball


__ does not know the names of his/her two senators and congressman

__ does not know the name of the Vice President of the USA

__ does not know the name of his or her state's governor


__ cannot run, bike, row, or swim for 10 minutes without stopping

__ cannot do 10 push-ups if a male, or one push-up if a female

__ cannot hang from a pull-up bar for 20 seconds if a male, 10 seconds if a female


__ has not read a book in the last year

__ did not graduate high school or earn a GED

__ has not visited a museum or attended a lecture in the last five years


__ has not gone 7 consecutive days without drinking alcohol in the last year

__ has not gone 7 consecutive days without smoking marijuana in the last year

__ has used RX pain killers without a RX more than once in the last year


__ has never held a job for more than a 9 months, and is over 25 years old

__ has not ever received a wage increase from a private sector job

__ has worked for the government, or would prefer to work for the government 


__ owes more on home than it is worth

__ owes more on vehicle than it is worth

__ is over 30 years old and has a negative net worth


__ has never travelled outside of home country

__ has never travelled outside of home state

__ does not have a passport


__ has had a tattoo, hair colored, or nails done professionally while receiving SNAP

__ person or sexual partner(s) has had more than one taxpayer-funded abortion

__ has had unprotected sex while receiving WIC benefits


__ drinks caffeinated beverage or energy drinks and takes high-blood-pressure pills

__ is obese and has Type 2 diabetes

__ smokes tobacco and receives tax-payer subsidized healthcare 


__ has more than one television per person in home

__ television was turned on in home everyday last week

__ television is primary source of news


__ has less than $500 saved for car repair

__ is driving an uninsured vehicle

__ monthly car payment is greater than the amount of cash he/she has saved 


__ does not know where China is located on a globe

__ does not know where Washington, DC, is located on a map of the USA

__ does not know why it is colder in the winter and warmer in the summer


__ has saved an average of less that $100 per month worked

__ is counting on Social Security to fund retirement

__ has purchased lottery tickets more than once in the past month


__ lives in a flood plain but does not have flood insurance

__ lives in public housing 

__ has slept in a shelter in the last year


Scoring one point for each affirmative response, with these 54 questions, what do you think the average score would be for adults in the USA?  What percent of Americans do you predict would score above 25?  40?  What about the average score for ZeroHedge readership?  What about for ESPN viewership?

Imagine if we did have this information for a statistically significant portion of a population.  What do you think it could teach us, and how might we use it?  How do you think the scores might vary based on race?  Religion?  Age?  Other factors?   What other questions or changes to these questions would you like to see?

Finally, would you consider donating as little as $10 to a Project Mayhem assignment, and enable a politically incorrect survey such as this to be conducted?

If we are going to try to Make America Great Again, then we probably should have a much better idea of where we are starting.  It is possible that the hole we are in is deeper than anyone wants to believe, or maybe we on ZeroHedge are all just too negative?

Wishing you peace, prosperity, liberty, and love (but my honest sense looking around me today is that we are totally fucked),



Jim in MN Mon, 09/18/2017 - 14:11 Permalink

Greetings HH,Good idea.  Maybe hacking the spook databases would be faster, but still....I think your drug questions are a little out of touch.You want to ask about meth, and opioids (I guess that's the RX painkillers).  Alcohol, yes.  Pot, who cares?Ask if someone is easily able to GET meth and/or RX painkillers.  And if close friends and/or family members are currently using.Also ask about ongoing prescription drug use, like for sleeping and personality/mood disorders.  I have a feeling that at least a third of the drivers in the USA are on some kind of mood-altering drug at all times, and close to 100% of politicians.I would most likely contribute a farthing or two to support this project.

SILVERGEDDON Stackers Mon, 09/18/2017 - 18:39 Permalink

Well, I think you might get 11 or 12 adults out of the entire population of the country that made those qualifications. I would only score a B plus, and I am a clean living hard ass old motherfucker.  But, I like my morning coffee, bacon, and the odd libation here and there, specially after cutting another cord of firewood, so fuck you.  

In reply to by Stackers

Conscious Reviver techpriest Tue, 09/19/2017 - 00:33 Permalink

I get a bug fat zero on the ZH poll. Like the poll conducting idea, but I'd have to think about how to go about providing help, I'm so intentionally disconnected, being in the Garden of Eden and all. I did give money to Ron Paul though.HH love 95% of what you do.Never heard any Marfa feedback. Is that 'cause like on the Playa, what happens in Marfa stays in Marfa?

In reply to by techpriest

swmnguy HockeyFool Tue, 09/19/2017 - 07:14 Permalink

I get one point, but only if we're being strict in the scoring.  I never finished high school, nor got a GED.  I managed to go to college nevertheless, as it was pre-computer-age, but then left college shy of a degree to go to work.This isn't a very interesting or revealing survey, anyway.  The only question, asked a number of ways, is "Are you poor?"We all know what poverty in America looks like.  It isn't like poverty in Bangladesh or, say, Somalia.  Thank God; we don't need people dying in the streets.  Poverty in America is about poor education; bad food with lots of sugar, fat and salt producing obesity with malnourishment; low-end job options; involvement with repressive and moralistic social programs that keep people caught in their circumstances; bad, overpriced and often unsafe housing; and the only releases available being self-destructive drugs, alcohol, and sex-related.  This poverty tends to be generational, as the methods of social advancement are almost impossible when one has to spend all one's time just barely staying at the poverty level.  Poor people in America are farmed for their debt value, like the humans in "The Matrix" movies were farmed for their organic energy production.It's all very fun and funny to point and laugh, I suppose, and if it makes you feel better that's OK with me.  I just don't find that it teaches me anything I haven't learned long since through hard experience, and it does absolutely nothing toward a goal of making these people's lives better.  I myself don't need to remind myself of my superiority, because I actually did grow up in poverty and have raised myself to upper-middle-classness.  But I had the advantage of education, and my parents had instilled bourgeois values is us.  It wasn't at all the same for me and my siblings as it was for most of the targets of this survey.But again, if restating the obvious makes you feel better, OK

In reply to by HockeyFool

Manthong swmnguy Tue, 09/19/2017 - 08:32 Permalink

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Deeper hole? How about the Fed’s bottomless pit that they can never crawl out of?

In reply to by swmnguy

bluez Manthong Tue, 09/19/2017 - 09:30 Permalink

If you go into a bank or a hospital or a police station and begin conducting this sort of "survey" you will be arrested.Think about that.Whenever some pollster or government opinion harvester accosts me with their nosy questions, I hem and haw and hem and haw for about ten minutes. Then I tell them that my thoughts are none of their damn business and get the hell away from me."Polls" are not generally "conducted" by little individuals like me. No they are conducted by massive organizations and the information about what the people really think is used by these massive organizations to control them.You think I will cooperate in my own manipulation by these organizations?I am going to insult their minions and will try to make them feel like the pathetic leeches that they are.

In reply to by Manthong

hedgeless_horseman swmnguy Tue, 09/19/2017 - 08:53 Permalink


The only question, asked a number of ways, is "Are you poor?"

I know so many wealthy Americans that are obese, in debt, without savings, ignorant of the facts, etc. Yet they still vote and receive handouts. 

if restating the obvious makes you feel better

If anything, doing a better accounting of the current situation in America makes me feel worse, not better.

In reply to by swmnguy

Conscious Reviver stacking12321 Tue, 09/19/2017 - 00:48 Permalink

Fell out of his Walmart cart and can't get up.That reminds me,  back in the valley of Silicon, we went buying puppies in SJ. The couple -white- selling the puppies. The guy was unemployed the house a mess. The wifey was Big! And not moving well, but they were ecstatic. The wife worked as a sherif's deputy hurt her back being obese, needed back surgery and that was the good news.  She was going to be on paid disability for 6mos. a year?  Like they won the lottery. Personally, I'd prefer to have my own strong back. Where are they now?Probably cruising in a Walmart cart.

In reply to by stacking12321

rex-lacrymarum DeadFred Tue, 09/19/2017 - 14:08 Permalink

I do not believe that one can generalize about such things. In fact, this is true in more than one way.  For starters, there are differences between individuals - their reasons for using intoxicants vary widely. Moreover, there are enormous differences between various drugs. Someone who "doesn't feel good about himself" is far more likely to be numbed by psychotropic drugs prescribed to him by a doctor, or possibly by opioids, rather than pot. I strongly suspect that a great many recreational pot smokers would actually disagree that it helps them to "feel better" if they aren't feeling good about themselves (obviously, people who use it explicitly for medicinal purposes do so because it makes them feel better, but these applications concern specific illnesses and not general sullenness or disenchantment with one's life).  

In reply to by DeadFred

hedgeless_horseman DrData02 Mon, 09/18/2017 - 14:48 Permalink

 That is an interesting observation, and probably correct to a certain extent.Lies, damn lies, and statistics.  Values, damn values, and surveys?I think it would be difficult for me to create a survey without bias.  I wonder if that is because I am not a trained or experienced pollster, or rather merely a general truth about all surveys.    

In reply to by DrData02

Trogdor hedgeless_horseman Mon, 09/18/2017 - 15:18 Permalink

Pretty hard to create a poll that doesn't have *some* bias. Even the way you ask a question can be biased ... just watch a MSM-sponsored "debate" to see all the proof you'd need.

I agree that it would be interesting and useful to know some of these statistics ... but I also have to wonder if you'd get honest answers to some of the less-than-flattering ones.

In reply to by hedgeless_horseman

SunRise hedgeless_horseman Mon, 09/18/2017 - 19:44 Permalink

To create anything requires bias - I created that thing rather than something else. Bias is not bad. Bias is required to make a decision and act on it, else there's your skeleton between two bales of straw.  So, one ought to ask,  "Why is there so much bias against bias today?"; however, I just answered that question: You're not supposed to think and act on your own.  I suppose we could split hairs on good judgement versus biased judgement,  but good judgement is extremely biased against making bad decisions, whereas bad judgement is extremely biased against making good decisions.  Bias serves Your court.  What's your pleasure?

In reply to by hedgeless_horseman

Alananda Mustafa Kemal Tue, 09/19/2017 - 02:29 Permalink

Wonder:  Have you ever encountered "Propensity Score Analysis" as a method to reduce, if not completely remove "bias" in observational data??A total "aha!!" experience for me, dealing with epidemiology and risk analysis, where "experimentation" (then, perhaps not today) was "unthinkable".One can generate, through surveys, observational data then subject to control of "bias".  Dealing with nonresponse bias and other kinds of "disinformation" -- I think trolls would have a field day with h-h's survey questions! -- brings me up short, wondering why one would ever attempt this exercise. Here on ZH, we have at least an n = 12, right?  Time to analyze statistically!!!

In reply to by Mustafa Kemal

Dammit Walter Mon, 09/18/2017 - 16:10 Permalink

Phew, negative on all.  Except can't confirm hanging for > 20 secs, but I can easily run for more than 10mins up hill, and just recently summited Mt Whitney, so I am guessing I'm ok there.  Not an easy 'survey' to ace!  Might have had to hang my head in shame if I got any points!  ;-)Are You an Undisciplined Loser? : Survey

helloimjohnnycat Dammit Walter Mon, 09/18/2017 - 19:36 Permalink

Go get ya' some GOOD and you'll be hanging.If it's real good, results may vary !I lose " zero " points EXCEPT one :I'm flush and self-insure a second home in F-ing Houston.Harvey seeped in a tad (pole), but water can't be worse than the bi-ped vermin making H-town a third world shit hole.Maybe it'll flood again and float the turds back to ' Orleans ! 

In reply to by Dammit Walter

Identify as Ferengi Mon, 09/18/2017 - 17:30 Permalink

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What's the opposite of "contributing member of society?" It's often pointed out that "Idiocracy" was not supposed to be a primer.

hedgeless_horseman Ben A Drill Mon, 09/18/2017 - 18:33 Permalink

 Maybe I am trying to just provide a stark contrast to the surveys we normally see as a starting point for a discussion.I also feel like we spend too much time talking about solutions, usually more legislation and debt, without understanding the problems.For example, is SNAP still necessary?  Because the poor people I see are obese, more often than not.  Or are certain politicians just buying votes with our money?

In reply to by Ben A Drill

Mustafa Kemal hedgeless_horseman Mon, 09/18/2017 - 20:14 Permalink

"I also feel like we spend too much time talking about solutions, usually more legislation and debt, without understanding the problems."Right on. John Dewey said1) It is a familiar and significant saying that a problem well put is half solved” and 2) “Without a problem, there is blind groping in the dark.” Dewey, J., Logic-Theory of Inquiry, pg. 108,Henry Holt and Company (1938). But  G.K. Chesterton said this: 3) “It isn’t that they can’t see the solution. It is that they can’t see the problem.” I worked at a National Lab for 26 years (mea culpa, mea culpa)and these statement fit perfectly. Go to the Climate Modeling group and ask them "Can you show me a formulation of the problem you are trying to solve?"They cannot. Instead, they find solutions. Solutions without a problem.  Is it any wonder that they cant tell you how good their simulations are? I can give another example, about 15 years ago the big thing was cybersecurity (yeah, funny I know). A high ranking government dude said we need to figure out how to design a computer networkintrusion system. I raised my hand and told him that nothing could be easier. You simply call all network packets "intrusions" He laughed and said that wasnt very good because it had alot of false alarms. I said, ok, instead call all packets "not intrusions" He got annoyed as said that had too many missed detections? I responded by saying that what we needed a real problem before we can come up with real solution. Needless to say, I didtn win any friends on that. Moreover, many people took his money and gave him many solutions. The human logical fallacy of coming up with solutions before one has a grasp on the problem is ubiquitous. Once you understand this you see it everywhere.

In reply to by hedgeless_horseman

tion hedgeless_horseman Tue, 09/19/2017 - 00:43 Permalink

In my opinion a lot of this is rooted in a broken society, broken families, moral corruption, spiritual bankruptcy, an ungodly paradigm, and seeking comfort through materialism in a painful world full of futility.  A survey like this can help provide knowledge of the problem, but can it on its own really provide understanding of the problem that couldn't be found without it?Although people should be encouraged toward self examination and shouldn't be enabled toward bad behavior that is destructive to themselves or society, pulling the rug out still won't really fix the underlying issue and will seep out into society in other ways, and of course, a government cannot fix the issue but can at best only stop fueling it.  Life is difficult and painful, too many don't have anyone to teach them what's important in life and how to live in a way that will benefit themself or their families.  I think that humans want to live fulfilled lives, but when they don't know how (and have often actually been forcefed backwards knowledge of the matter their whole lives), they seek satisfaction by looking for ways to fill the void, do the best with what they've got. In some ways we are worse off than animals.Surface level inquiry or holding up measuring sticks attached to stigma are not really constructive toward real positive change and can only create the appearance of such, but on the flip side a lot of what we see today - making efforts to remove consequences for bad behavior - is very destructive.  Education is so key.  The public schools that so many parents are entrusting to not just educate their children, but essentially raise them, are so horrendous, and the parents are not blameless for this situation.Striving to be an upstanding person and good parent, generously sharing knowledge, ministry, and kindness with others, productive good works, reaching out to vulnerable people, these are things we as individuals can do to create positive change in our own lives and the lives of others. If we choose to put primacy on the positive impact we as individuals can make and act accordingly, we can find personal fulfillment and satisfaction in that.  If we instead choose to give primacy towards problems that we have little control over, only futility can be found, because even if that particular problem gets fixed there will always be another problem to set your sights on.   

In reply to by hedgeless_horseman

Alananda tion Tue, 09/19/2017 - 02:09 Permalink

As did the ancients with "Religion" -- government for soul-centric humans of the time -- as do our elite contemporaries wielding one or the other IDEOLOGIES -- government for the body of humans who have completely lost connection, through mind, with soul -- so plan our FUTURE MASTERS to implement and to enforce government for the mind itself resident in humans of "lower kinds", lower than ((them)) for sure.The crux of this matter, seems to me, the cross we bear, entails developing anew, then promulgating, tested, validated methods (aka disciplines, rituals) for re-enlightenment, re-kindling of the true, innate human spirit, "that of GOD in every man".  The Kingdom of GOD is within, a teacher declared.  Have you yourself even looked to see?  How would you know, one way or the other, if you have not looked?I propose that we focus on means to bring fellow humans -- black, brown, white, yellow, and all shades of pink and purple some folks obviously prefer -- into greater awareness of Self, increased appreciation of the "family of Man", the uniqueness and power of the "individual" integrated with the power of self-chosen, voluntary "community" with others.  Methods of doing so need not find justification in religion, philosophy, or psychology -- techniques for the realization of Self seem abundant!  Choose your poison, which probably tends toward the red sector of the visual spectrum, and not toward the blue.I know I can do this.  I believe many others also can do this.  We have time.  Let's begin.  We need to conceive, then construct connections, bridges, where divisive tactics have long prevailed, divide, divide, divide -- dear sparks, jump the gap!Yes, I do have a concrete suggestion or two about the "how", for individuals.  For groups of awakened and eagerly willing souls, I think re-learning the meaning of "money" and life without usury would serve best for now, extending to barter and other ways to exchange value, before our current economic fraud implodes -- or gets replaced by an even worse, planetary scam.The comment section of ZH provides a space for unfettered promise, if not specifics.  One word hint for any one interested in one idea I have pursued:  Spiegelarbeit.Alan 

In reply to by tion