New England Patriots Fans Turned To Porn After Stunning Super Bowl Loss

On Monday, Pornhub’s statisticians were busy computing the numbers behind the web site’s internet traffic after Super Bowl LII on Sunday, February 4th. The unexpected result: New England Patriot fans apparently turned to porn to ease the pain after their team’s stunning loss to the Philadelphia Eagles.

As America’s game kicked off from 6:30 pm to 10:30 pm Eastern Time, Pornhub’s statisticians noted, “across the United States traffic dropped an average of -24 percent” below the typical average for  Sunday. Around 9 pm, a further decline in porn watching occurred with the largest drop of -28 percent, while the eyes of Americans were glued to their 60 Inch LED TV that was, of course, purchased on credit. After the game, football fans rushed back to their computers, mobile devices, and fancy tablets with a +9 percent surge above the average levels for 11 pm. Statisticians said Sunday around 11 pm is Pornhub’s highest traffic time of the week, so a +9 percent move is quite impressive. 

Across the entire country, game-day traffic declined, but the percentage differed depending on the state and or region. Here is what the statisticians had to say: 

The nation’s most dedicated football fans were from Delaware, where traffic dropped by -45% between 6pm and 11pm. Elsewhere on the East Coast, traffic dropped by -43% in Rhode Island, -42% in Massachusetts and -41% in Pennsylvania. That’s quite understandable seeing as both teams were from Eastern states. The smallest traffic changes happened in Kansas (-11%), Nevada (-12%) and Alabama (-14%).  

Traffic declines were similar in both Philadelphia and Boston during most of the game, though, Eagles fans delayed the ole’ cleaning of the pipes a bit longer, with their biggest traffic drop of -58 percent at 10 pm. 

Late in the fourth quarter, Philadelphia Eagles defense made a huge play to secure Super Bowl LII victory, with Brandon Graham strip-sacking Tom Brady to help seal the 41-33 win. As soon as that occurred, Boston was already rushing back to Pornhub, where traffic surged +28 percent above normal in the hours following the defeat.

We might have found the answer why Eagles fans delayed porn watching.

 

On a state by state basis, the biggest drops happened around 9 pm by -45 percent in Pennsylvania and -53 percent in Massachusetts. The statisticians added: 

We found it interesting that whether the Patriots win or lose, fans in Massachusetts are just as likely to head back to Pornhub after the game. Our 2017 Superbowl Insights found a similar +30% increase in post-game traffic across Massachusetts after the Patriots won Superbowl 51.  

Based on Pornhub’s Google Analytics data, their statisticians found that U.S. male traffic data declined by -30 percent while U.S. female traffic data declined by -22 percent at the climax of the game. Female traffic remained low around 8 pm, which the statisticians believe women wanted to stick around to watch Justin Timberlake’s halftime show, meanwhile, men snuck off to watch porn. Postgame stats show men surged +10 percent at midnight, while females surged +7 percent at 2 am. Very sneaky…

The lull in web traffic during the Super Bowl, followed by a massive surge in porn by Americans, is part of a reoccurring pattern for Pornhub during sporting events. Interesting enough, Pornhub’s statisticians point out that New England Patriot fans jumped to the porn site first to ease the pain after their team’s loss. Sunday is the biggest day of the week for porn watching in America, eventually, at the end of the night, trends in google analytics indicated that no matter the team–American’s as a whole still made time to watch their favorite porn star. Does America have a porn addiction?

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Comments

Yen Cross Wed, 02/07/2018 - 21:07 Permalink

    Whacking off at home, or Ak-47's in the streets? [ a lot of Muzzies met their 72 virgins] and no palms were harmed.

  I watched about [5]minutes of the game.

   The NFL is toast until Roger Goodell  is retired.

Lumberjack chunga Wed, 02/07/2018 - 21:54 Permalink

Butler really fucked up somehow. Belichick is a pretty serious fella and wouldn’t bench him if it wasn’t serious.

Stay tuned.

Bill IMHO will retire in 2 years or less and the offensive coach who dissed the Colts will take his place after Kraft, his son and Bill cut a deal for him to stay.

 Gronk is about to retire as well. His house was robbed while he was at the superbowl. No suspects yet

Looks like an interesting season is forthcoming.

I’m looking forward to doing some fly fishing this year and glad at least some of this shit is over.

 

 

In reply to by chunga

chunga Lumberjack Wed, 02/07/2018 - 22:07 Permalink

None of the players say Butler fucked up. My opinion is Belichick figured he was so smart he could coach away Butler's talent which seems by every measure to be higher than Rowe, Bademosi, Richards.

60 seconds into the game the philly coach, to his credit, targeted the Butler replacements.

Unless a photo surfaces of Butler dragging his girlfriend out of an elevator unconscious like Ray Rice Belichick screwed up big time and Kraft must have demanded an answer aside from sneering "coaching decision".

That's why McDaniels did an about face on going to Indy.

In reply to by Lumberjack

Giant Meteor Wed, 02/07/2018 - 21:17 Permalink

OK , got it ..

So men failing to get off watching other men play ball, turn instead to other women getting balled, so they can then play with their balls ..

 

 

Larry Dallas Wed, 02/07/2018 - 21:23 Permalink

There's got to be a psychological reason for this. Perhaps people desire a serotonin rush after an adrenaline rush? Seems to happen after every catastrophe. Just here on ZH there was a similar article on the amount of traffic that Pornhub got after the Hawaii Missile Alert panicked everyone there.

Here's a book that may explain it. I just got it. http://amzn.to/2nHpHbp

Nuclear Winter Wed, 02/07/2018 - 21:26 Permalink

After Tom Lady butt fumbled and Belichick watched his defense get gang-banged, there was only one thing left to do in the City of Hate: Hump the small screen dry.

BitchesBetterR… Wed, 02/07/2018 - 21:53 Permalink

So- Pornhub has become the "go to" website when USA is having a "hard" time.....

 

I wonder if Trump himself visits it every time the Russia-gate bullshit is brought over and over.....

TheEndIsNear Wed, 02/07/2018 - 22:06 Permalink

The video was more interesting than the PornHub charts. Imagine how people would act if something important happened. If we could only harness a small bit of these emotions and actions towards ending the Fed,  ending fiat currency, or ending the spying and intrusion of the Federal government into our lives, but no... the outcome of adults running around a field with an inflated pig bladder is far more important to the average American than anything that actually effects their lives. Maybe we deserve the government we have?

Yen Cross Wed, 02/07/2018 - 22:31 Permalink

  Porn-hub sucks.

    I can still sport a 'totem pole' though.  Who's your Daddy?

   See you clowns in London. Gotta figure out this eur/usd thing.

 

zccu17 Wed, 02/07/2018 - 22:52 Permalink

why this article that seems to normalize pornography the day after an article detailing the covert sex trafficking that takes place in this country?

 

I like that the article closes with the question: Does America have a pornography addiction

 

I hope that the Pornography lobby has not gotten to zero hedge too. but yesterday's article on sex trafficking may have alerted our Illuminati Overlords that the zerohedge crowd is in need of pornography normalization. to get us addicted, keep us addicted, get us sterile, impotent -- both in terms of child-rearing and impotent and power-lacking in general so that we are docile worker-slaves.  

canisdirus Thu, 02/08/2018 - 00:07 Permalink

A Venn diagram of people that are stupid enough to watch sports and people that are addicted to porn would probably show an enormous overlap. Basically the same population.