Friday Humor: Entire Facebook Staff Laughs As Man Tightens Privacy Settings

PALO ALTO, CA

All 1,472 employees of Facebook, Inc. reportedly burst out in uncontrollable laughter Wednesday following Albuquerque resident Jason Herrick's attempts to protect his personal information from exploitation on the social-networking site.

"Look, he's clicking 'Friends Only' for his e-mail address. Like that's going to make a difference!" howled infrastructure manager Evan Hollingsworth, tears streaming down his face, to several of his doubled-over coworkers.

"Oh, sure, by all means, Jason, 'delete' that photo. Man, this is so rich."

According to internal sources, the entire staff of Facebook was left gasping for air minutes later when the "hilarious" Herrick believed he had actually blocked third-party ads.

Source: The Onion

Comments

Bricker JimmyJones Fri, 03/23/2018 - 16:12 Permalink

Everytime I call any larger company, the first thing they do is data grab.

1.Whats you first and last name

2 What zip code do you live in

3. What is your email

4. Is this the best number to call you back on if we get accidentally disconnected

Me: I opt out of your questions

Customer service rep: Sorry but I cannot help you without this information.

Me:Fuck off

In reply to by JimmyJones

hannah Bricker Fri, 03/23/2018 - 16:38 Permalink

it is much easier to just give out fake info.....the side benefit is it totally fucks up their data since no ones scrubs the data they buy......i have seen companies send out mailers to a person named 'mr.uhewf05yg 4g20841c585b3' at '123 maple st boogeytown'. i have seen tens of thousands of dollars wasted on shit info that businesses bought....

In reply to by Bricker

Generation O Pernicious Gol… Fri, 03/23/2018 - 17:30 Permalink

when Smith's supermarket chain began their loyallty card program more than 20 years ago in Las Vegas, they offered a $10,000 prize to one winner of all those who obtained a loyalty card. I resented providing my own name, so I entered "Shlomo" with an appropriate last name also.  Anyway, following the prize drawing, I received a very official sounding telephone call but I had just awakened and was not on top of my game. Thenlady asked "Is Shlomo there?" I said, "Who" I don't know what you're talking about!" She said, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Shlomo will be disappointed. Goodbye."  This is a true story.

In reply to by Pernicious Gol…

D503 Bricker Fri, 03/23/2018 - 16:41 Permalink

The bigger joke is how this is finally an issue more than a decade after it started.

What benefit is left, other than testing to see who won't drop out even when the scam is completely rubbed into the faces of these fucking tax mules?

I hope they are the first draft pick for fema campers. But likely, they'll be the last.

In reply to by Bricker

GUS100CORRINA CuttingEdge Fri, 03/23/2018 - 16:41 Permalink

Friday Humor: Entire Facebook Staff Laughs As Man Tightens Privacy Settings

My response: Two Points to Share

1. Place all of the SOCIAL MEDIA companies (Internet Fringe Operators like Google, FB, etc.) under control of FTC (It's happening now as evidenced by recent articles and the declining stock price!)

2. INTERNET BILL OF RIGHTS!!! **** VERY IMPORTANT ****

Both actions above will address concerns with both CITIZEN INFORMATION PRIVACY and CENSORSHIP. ** GEORGE "SHITHEAD" SOROS HATES THIS IDEA **

Both have to happen ASAP this year!

LET JUSTICE TAKE ITS DUE COURSE AS PRESCRIBED BY US LEGAL CODES.

Going forward, WE THE PEOPLE need to VOTE OUT OF OFFICE every single DEMOCRAT and RINO in the upcoming 2018 midterm elections.

Choose wisely America for the days are filled with EVIL.

In reply to by CuttingEdge

Endgame Napoleon GUS100CORRINA Fri, 03/23/2018 - 21:24 Permalink

How are they going to regulate it? Will FCC employees be on all of the sites, looking for violations?

When you write a comment that violates FCC rules, will an automated .gov bot employee pop up, telling you that have you violated X provision of FCC code #57788344662?

In the past, the FCC regulated professional content creators in the broadcast media, etc., putting the responsibility of the FCC rules on them: profit-making entities.

These companies have not even made clear what the parameters of privacy are. Is it just your email address?  

We are all concerned with privacy and free speech, but it is not even clear what these techies do or what they can do with the technology.

I doubt that the .gov people on that panel will understand what they do, but maybe, they are a bunch of programmers.

 

In reply to by GUS100CORRINA

pigpen Four chan Fri, 03/23/2018 - 17:58 Permalink

Four Chan, whoever controls the browser controls the money.

Time for citizens to render mobile advertising worthless by installing brave browser or similar adblocker.

Brave blocks advertising tracking and malware by DEFAULT on any device and operating system rendering digital advertising model useless.

What is advertising worth if you can't serve, I can't view and I can't be tracked around the web.

The goobook monopolies track you everywhere and sell my data and don't compensate me.

Let's break their business model.

Cheers,

Pigpen

In reply to by Four chan

DuneCreature Looney Fri, 03/23/2018 - 16:16 Permalink

If you think that's funny you ought to try firing a SES government employee. .... That's a real hoot!

Our Government senior staff have 'Life-Time Tenure' ... You CAN'T get rid of them it's ILLEGAL!

You were expecting change perhaps?

!!!!!~~~)))) .... THE LAB RESULTS ARE BACK!! .... ((((~~~!!!!!!

Samples were sent to the lab months ago and the lab results are back............finally.

The samples were handled very carefully. Chain of custody records, time stamped, documented sample sites, sealed containers the whole nine yards and it has been confirmed what we suspected all along.

100%

The Swamp isn't a swamp at all,...............it is totally a Deep State Cesspool inside the Washington DC beltway. .. All of it.

A Cesspool with A VERY high SES content. .. The worst kind.

Nothing good can live in a Cesspool. ... Especially one taken over with Totally 'Illegal' SES Vermin.

Truth expires just being held over the top scum layer of a SES infested Cesspool. .... Honestly withers and dies with just a brief dip in the toxic mess. ... The US Constitution, which is actually one mother tough document, is finished in less than 72 hours in the Cesspool SES shit soup. .. It might make a valiant attempt to climb out of the Cesspool but the bottom feeding sub-vermin will quickly drag it back in and smother it under the septic muck.

Nothing good can be grown, fixed, patched up or repaired in a SES Cesspool. ..... Nothing of value ever comes out of it either.

Cesspool parasites, leeches, disease pathogens and worst of all, The Cesspool SES Lawyers (a particularly nasty invasive sub species of lawyer), are almost impossible to eradicate, kill, terminate or fire. ... Once in the Cesspool they just keep growing, multiplying and consuming more and more of the surrounding nutrients and ALL of the Cesspool oxygen. ........... Then the SES scum expels a toxic cloud, of very foul orders and unpleasant odors, out and into and over the surrounding lands, poisoning the entire surrounding environment.

The Lab Test Results - The Slime Report 2018

Someone call the EPA and let's get the SES Cesspool drained!

Wait!.. What do mean the EPA has a 202 Area Code and all you get is a lawyer on an answering machine when you call the EPA Tips Hotline? ... The lawyer there said he will get back to us within the next 90-120 days, eh?

Live Hard, The EPA Called Back And Said We Should Have The Samples Retested At An EPA Certified Lab And There Will Be An Extended Review Process, And Fees, And Forms, And Filing Costs, And Appeals, And Retaliations, And Delays, And If All Of That Doesn't Dissuade You From Pursuing The Matter Further A Cesspool EPA Hit Team Will Be Sent To Your Home Address, Die Free

~ DC v8.8

In reply to by Looney

DuneCreature Les Grossman Fri, 03/23/2018 - 16:56 Permalink

I've got lots more, Les.

I like the way those career criminals at the Senior Executive Service are just like the 'Good FBI®' crooks.

"But, but, but, you can't fire all of US!.. There are LOTS of 'Good SESƵ®©!!!' ... We didn't do anything ILLEGAL!"

They haven't done anything worthwhile, moral, ethical or productive since they joined SES and been planted like a giant tree growing out of your living room floor and out the window tearing the house down season by season. .. You can't cut them out because have 'immunity' granted by other crooks.

But it has all been 'technically legal' (Although you'll get plenty of argument on that point from me too). ... They are 'good Americans' and have good intentions. ... No they don't. ..They would have walked out on the job a long time ago if they had 'good intentions'.

Thieves, cut-throat pirates and warmongering agents of the MIC Deep State and every last one of them knows it too.

Traitors.

Live Hard, The Cesspool Is Owned, Run, Controlled And Managed By Nazi Pedo Pirates Known As MIC Lawyers And SES, Die Free

~ DC v8.8

In reply to by Les Grossman

Karl Marxist Looney Fri, 03/23/2018 - 16:47 Permalink

Oh, ho-ho-ho, Goddamnit, dude yer so funny tears streaming down my cheeks -- and face, too. Whazzamatta? MSM block the comments section so you have to come here to blather your seriously not clever, not funny, post WAY too much shitposts here? Go ruin some other site, like in Facebook comments.

In reply to by Looney

zvzzt Looney Fri, 03/23/2018 - 19:14 Permalink

Stasi could only wish it has such a through platform... they didn't even come close. Highly recommend the stasi museum when in Berlin. Bring some young folks; they probably wouldn't even understand what the fuss is about.... 

In reply to by Looney