What Ordering A Pizza In "Facebook World" Is Like

Submitted by Seabreeze Partners' Doug Kass,

"A really efficient totalitarian state would be one in which the all-powerful executive of political bosses and their army of managers control a population of slaves who do not have to be coerced, because they love their servitude."

- Aldous HuxleyBrave New World

Here is a look into the not so distant future:

CALLER:
Is this Tony's Pizza?
 
FACEBOOK:
No sir, it's Facebook Pizza.

CALLER:
I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.

FACEBOOK:
No sir, Facebook bought Tony’s Pizza last month.

CALLER:
OK. I would like to order a pizza.

FACEBOOK:
Do you want your usual, sir?
 
CALLER: 
My usual? You know me?
 
FACEBOOK:
According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.

CALLER:
OK! That’s what I want …
 
FACEBOOK:
May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?

CALLER:
What? I detest vegetables.
 
FACEBOOK:
Your cholesterol is not good, sir.

CALLER:
How the hell do you know?
 
FACEBOOK:
Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records.
We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

CALLER:
Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza!

I already take medication for my cholesterol.

FACEBOOK:
Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly.
According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago.

CALLER:
I bought more from another drugstore.
 
FACEBOOK:
That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.

CALLER:
I paid in cash.
 
FACEBOOK:
But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.


CALLER:
I have other sources of cash.

FACEBOOK:
That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.

CALLER:
WHAT THE HELL?
 
FACEBOOK:
I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.

CALLER:
Enough already!

I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.
 
FACEBOOK:

I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first.  It expired 6 weeks ago…

Comments

Withdrawn Sanction JRobby Wed, 03/28/2018 - 19:45 Permalink

"Remember when being branded a pedophile meant one was regarded as an abomination ..."

No, it still carries the worst stigma imaginable, which is why the establishment went absolutely nuts when that stuff first hit the fan in summer 2016.  The controllers cant have their main tool compromised; otherwise, how would they compromise people they need to control?

In reply to by JRobby

Deep Snorkeler BullyBearish Wed, 03/28/2018 - 17:53 Permalink

Working Class Americans

Desperate nematodes, downtrodden and demeaned.

Sinister forces data mine their souls 

extracting the last penny, the last vote,

the last tidbit of info from the bottom

of their sad psycho-biological record.

Your past has been trended and your

cone of probability don't look good.

 

In reply to by BullyBearish

pigpen GotGalt Wed, 03/28/2018 - 17:30 Permalink

Doug, please help with mass movement to destroy the digital advertising model of tracking surveillance. Promote a mobile adblocker or brave browser.

This is our data and we should be the agent to protect or profit from our social profile data.

Citizens must unite to destroy the lifeblood of the goobook - digtal advertising by using adblocking.

My preference is brave browser for to its simplicity for average Luddite to download brave and brave blocks advertising malware and tracking by DEFAULT on any device and operating system rendering digital advertising model useless. Yes there are better solutions for technical in the know crowd but let's focus on the art of the possible.

What is advertising worth if you can't be served an ad, you don't view an ad and can't be tracked while browsing?

Whoever controls the browser controls the money. Change the browser and break the digtal advertising business.

Download brave browser or its equivalent today.

Cheers,

Pigpen

In reply to by GotGalt

Demologos Arnold Wed, 03/28/2018 - 20:27 Permalink

Just started using on an iPad and it works better than Safari. Safari locked up pretty much only for ZH. I still use it for Sputnik.

A nice feature of Brave is that it gives you a selection of search engines. I've been using StartPage but it also offers DuckDuckGo and other Google alternatives.

In reply to by Arnold

abgary1 Wed, 03/28/2018 - 17:52 Permalink

We have choices.

Walk to your nearest pizza place, leave your  phone at home and pay cash.

Privacy and exercise all rolled into one.

Reduce your impact on the environment, eliminate your gym membership, lose weight, reduce stress and avoid debt.

Choose privacy and thus freedom over convenience.

buzzsaw99 Wed, 03/28/2018 - 17:53 Permalink

Carl's Jr. Computer: Enjoy your EXTRA BIG ASS FRIES!

Woman at Carl's Jr.: You didn't give me no fries, I got an empty box.

Carl's Jr. Computer: Would you like another EXTRA BIG ASS FRIES?

Woman at Carl's Jr.: I said I didn't get any!

Carl's Jr. Computer: Thank you! Your account has been charged. Your balance is zero. Please come back when you can afford to make a purchase.

Woman at Carl's Jr.: What? Oh no, NO! [She hits the machine. An alarm goes off, and a sign appears on the computer saying "WARNING! Carl's Jr. Frowns Upon Vandalism"]

Carl's Jr. Computer: I'm sorry you're having trouble. I'm sorry you're having trouble.

Woman at Carl's Jr.: Come on! My kids are starvin'!

Carl's Jr. Computer: [the woman kicks the computer, and it sprays a fast-acting tranquilizer in her face] This should help you calm down. Please come back when you can afford to make a purchase. Your kids are starving. Carl's Jr. believes no child should go hungry. You are an unfit mother. Your children will be placed in the custody of Carl's Jr. Carl's Jr... "Fuck You, I'm Eating."

Son of Captain Nemo Wed, 03/28/2018 - 17:59 Permalink

Answer: YOUR OWN FUCKING FAULT for being self-absorbed and self-indulgent with YOUR ALTER-EGO and BEST FRIEND "YOU" that doubles as the NSA!... 

Don't leave out the "decentralized" money equivalent THAT LOVES YOU EVEN MORE "anonymous" AKA Satoshi Nakamoto!...

Why I never completed my profile!!!

rphb Wed, 03/28/2018 - 18:50 Permalink

Considering the fact that Facebook is already dying like MySpace, I very much doubt that Facebook is going to buy any pizza palers any-time soon, but maybe zuckerberg can get a job in one, after having completing his rags-to-riches-to-rag story