Elon Musk "Jokes" That Tesla Has Filed For Bankruptcy

In what we assume is a morbid April Fool's joke, late on Sunday Elon Musk decided to have some "fun" with his 20 million Twitter followers and unknown number of investors, and after previewing earlier in the day that he will have "Important news in a few hours …", the Tesla CEO tweeted that "Tesla Goes Bankrupt Palo Alto, California, April 1, 2018 -- Despite intense efforts to raise money, including a last-ditch mass sale of Easter Eggs, we are sad to report that Tesla has gone completely and totally bankrupt. So bankrupt, you can't believe it."

There was more "humor" - in a subsequent tweet, Musk tweeted that "There are many chapters of bankruptcy and, as critics so rightly pointed out, Tesla has them *all*, including Chapter 14 and a half (the worst one)."

Musk concluded joking that after the bankruptcy, he "was found passed out against a Tesla Model 3, surrounded by "Teslaquilla" bottles, the tracks of dried tears still visible on his cheeks. This is not a forward-looking statement, because, obviously, what's the point? Happy New Month!"...

... a clear explanation that this is all in the April 1 realm of fiction... for now.

And while to Musk it may all be a joke, to Tesla bondholders (and recently shareholders: TSLA stock plunged 22% in March, its biggest drop since December 2010) it is anything but, because as we showed last week, the price on Tesla's 2025 bonds tumbled after a downgrade by Moody's deep into junk territory, warning the company may have to raise another $2 billion...

Tesla

... sending the bond yield - and thus risk - above that of Ukraine.

Meanwhile, the real joke is that Tesla continues to burn record amount of cash and has now gone through over $8 billion in just the last 4 years.

... which even Goldman recently warned may deteriorate substantially as Tesla deliveries  are set to decline and miss guidance.

Finally, what would assure an instant end to Musk's sense of humor, is if Tesla's clients who had - not very prudently - given the company over $850 million to hold on their behalf as deposits for some future pipe dream, decided to have a "run on the bank", and pull their deposits, unleashing an overnight liquidity crisis.

For the sake of Elon Musk, "Teslaquilla", and all those who still believe in the Tesla dream not to mention Martian colonization, we can only hope it does not get to there.

Meanwhile, assuring that today's joke is tomorrow's reality, on Sunday, the NTSB said it was "unhappy" that Tesla made public information about the crash of its Model X vehicle on Autopilot that killed the driver last month.

Specifically, it looks like the NTSB is not happy with Tesla's claim that its autopilot is not at fault for the recent deadly Model X crash:

"The NTSB is looking into all aspects of this crash including the driver's previous concerns about the autopilot," said O'Neil. "We will work to determine the probable cause of the crash and our next update of information about our investigation will likely be when we publish a preliminary report, which generally occurs within a few weeks of completion of field work."

Last week, the company said that a search of its service records did not "find anything suggesting that the customer ever complained to Tesla about the performance of Autopilot. There was a concern raised once about navigation not working correctly, but Autopilot's performance is unrelated to navigation."

The good news is that if the Tesla fairy tale does indeed end in a fiery Chapter 7, or "14 and a half", as increasingly more predict it will, at least Elon will have provided the schaudenfreuders with enough ammunition to last them several lifetimes.

Comments

So Close SloMoe Sun, 04/01/2018 - 19:58 Permalink

You can go ahead and down vote me now.  Vote (in terms of increasingly worthless dollars) against this fucker at your own peril.  Do you really think he does not know what the situation is, and has not planned 4 moves ahead?  We shall soon see. 

In reply to by SloMoe

not dead yet no_cap Mon, 04/02/2018 - 03:56 Permalink

Space X is working off research, tech, and a supplier base paid for with your tax dollars. Most likely lots of experienced ex government employees on the payroll too. All of Space X's accomplishments could have been put in place by NASA but they couldn't do them because the NASA management was pissing away your tax dollars on climate change and other bullshit and had none left over for operations.

In reply to by no_cap

GUS100CORRINA just the tip Sun, 04/01/2018 - 22:34 Permalink

Elon Musk "Jokes" That Tesla Has Filed For Bankruptcy

My response: Interesting ... so reality has arrived. What exactly does the MARKET do with a company that has a market capitalization bigger than the FORD MOTOR COMPANY? 

KEY QUESTION: How will the market absorb a 100+ BILLION DOLLAR LOSS that includes both TESLA STOCK and BONDS?

Inquiring minds want to know???

In reply to by just the tip

not dead yet GUS100CORRINA Mon, 04/02/2018 - 04:14 Permalink

Some pundits claim Tesla could issue more bonds using the battery factory as collateral. Supposedly when Tesla floated their last bond issue the bonds were unsecured. Panasonic has poured hundreds of millions, not to mention supplying the tech and supervising the construction, into the Tesla battery factory and may not approve of mortgaging the operation. Or Panasonic could buy the factory from Tesla. Tesla also has a free and clear plant in Buffalo gifted to them by the state of New York. Could they mortgage that without pissing off NY state. Tesla also got huge tax credits for the battery plant from the state of Nevada which they have been selling off for cash, totally legal, so other companies can cheat the tax man. If they have any left to sell they can raise cash. They can also issue more stock as there are more suckers who believe in Elon's "genius". In the next year Tesla has over a billion in bonds due for redemption which are convertible into stock. So Tesla could convert them into stock and wipe out over a billion in debt off the books. Unless there is a market crash or the economy falls over a cliff unfortunately Tesla has some aces they can play to stave off bankruptcy until a miracle happens.

In reply to by GUS100CORRINA

dasein211 remain calm Sun, 04/01/2018 - 20:28 Permalink

He’s good at laughing at your assess. Look, if the fusion reactor from Lockheed is real he’s way ahead of the game. He’s not worried at all. He’ll be producing batteries like the energizer bunny. Or Toyota will-solid state alkaline batteries. Either way, if/when electric gets that cheap the game is going to change. The Zero Fucks here can’t think past 1984. Oil will be the new coal tech and coal will be as usefull as whale blubber. But please, continue with the snark. My guess is Lockheed is building autonomous robots and vehicles to sell to the govts and they’re smart enough to know they need the best power source available as no gas powered engine fits the bill. People thinks the pentagon “lost” trillions but let’s be honest- some if it is going somewhere useful to them. Get your heads out your asses. Guns will be useless against laser armed drones. You guys are still obsessed with throwing rocks to protect yourselves and your delusion of protecting that “right” is going to leave you sitting there like a caveman with a spear up your ass. Use your imaginations! Wake the fuck up!!!! 

In reply to by remain calm

RAT005 dasein211 Sun, 04/01/2018 - 21:05 Permalink

I think the Fusion announcement was a geopolitical stunt.

It doesn't matter though, the short coming of elec. cars is the battery, not the cost of electricity.  Electricity and natural gas cost about the same at the pump.  The battery triples the operating cost per mile of an elec. car.  The battery $$/mile actually costs more than the gasoline for a car getting over 30 mpg.

In reply to by dasein211

lincolnsteffens dasein211 Sun, 04/01/2018 - 22:27 Permalink

Some of us may be more concerned about personal home safety and not armed resistance to a state sponsored technologically superior force. None the less, 30 million firearms distributed across the population may not be easy to deal with by a state sponsored force.

Rather than insulting your audience you might be more effective using a bit of honey instead of vinegar to gain support for your position.

In reply to by dasein211

oncemore1 dasein211 Mon, 04/02/2018 - 02:55 Permalink

Lockheed is real, look at their patent application.

But the shit can never work, if you understand physics and look over to the project page.

It is good, that you bring it on, because it STRONGLY RESEMBLES TESLA: it is a BS crap, what Lockheed tries to sell as physics.

Go to the hell with everything, what you have written in your comment, it is a BS.

If you for one second believed, that Lockheed thing is real, as you did, then you for sure would invest with Bernie, or with Enron as well. Buy a dip, lot of Tesla shares now.

In reply to by dasein211

Rhetorical So Close Sun, 04/01/2018 - 22:09 Permalink

The man is brilliant and I hope he succeeds. His Rocket section is miles ahead of the competition so even if his car business goes flat he's hopefully still got the crown jewel.   

 

If anything he proved that electric cars weren't only for low test faggots. Best 0-60 on the market for under 250k. Even Lamborghini is building electric super cars now. So irregardless of Tesla the company surviving. Musk's work will have had lasting influence to car culture everywhere long after the company and man are dead and gone. If I had the chance and money to put into it I'd jump to get a Tesla. To bad Im balls deep into crypto for the next 3 years minus daily rations of chicken red beans and rice.

In reply to by So Close