With finals week well underway at the University of Utah, students walking through the J. Willard Marriott Library encountered a white booth with a door on the front, adorned with a sign reading "Safe Place for Stressed Out Students Otherwise known as The Cry Closet."
so my school installed a cry closet in the library LMFAOOOOOOOOO what is higher education pic.twitter.com/6rGcJv9qjr— jacks (@aJackieLarsen) April 24, 2018
After knocking to ensure no other students are utilizing the the tiny safe space, overwhelmed millennial adults can step inside and cuddle with a variety of children's stuffed animals.
Designed by University of Utah student and visual artist Nemo Miller "in collaboration with Tony Miller and David Meyer," the booth is basically a functional art installation.
Yooooo!! I’m THE Cry Closet Creator ™️. I’m so stoked that the response has been so incredible!!— Nemo Miller (@Nemosanartist) April 25, 2018
That said, Utah students who are afraid to come out of the closet will be verklempt after learning that it has a 10 minute time limit. At least students queued up to cry won't have to wait too long before releasing their emotions all over the stuffed animal companions.
One might think Miller and his two co-creators would have finished their booth using proper craftsmanship techniques easily found on YouTube, but no - from the side it looks like a giant unfinished shipping crate for emotionally underdeveloped adults. One might expect some drywall with perhaps sob-absorbing sound deadening material.
Random fact... this is the side view pic.twitter.com/i16aJv54Gg— Dev (@DevThaExplora) April 25, 2018
Of the five Cry Closet rules, #5 is to use "#cryclosetuofu" over social media - which people promptly did, with several noting that it can also serve as a local masterbatorium:
Please note, future employers will also have a ‘Cry Closets.’ They’re known as your car in the parking lot after your sorry ass has been fired after realizing you don’t get paid to be uncomfortable. #cryclosetuofu https://t.co/ZwrJKJ9HQl— Cleo Volunteer (@cleothevol) April 25, 2018
Oh MY! I sincerely hope it won't be used for *alternative* purposes. 😂😂😂 #cryclosetuofu— The Grinchess 🇬🇧 #flatliner (@LaGrinchess) April 25, 2018
#cryclosetuofu finna beat my meat in peace before class starts— Gachimuchi Enthusiast (@BanchouBaddie) April 25, 2018
#cryclosetuofu I nutted on the blue dog— John.gif (@ChiefGrief_) April 25, 2018
Pshhhht more like coitus closet. No one bats an eye at the cries. #cryclosetuofu— Spot Bear 🐻 (@spot_bear) April 25, 2018
U of U tried to play it off like the Cry Closet is a joke...
Point taken, @dexdawg. We will cease and desist all attempts at humor across campus.— University of Utah (@UUtah) April 24, 2018
When called out on it, the University hedged - saying it "wasn't JUST humor. It is an art installation that is meant to provoke feeling, thought and conversation, which the artist has apparently achieved."
stop pretending that it was humor - you think i can put my pops statue in inside the library without any consequences?— jilldavis (@Jillrocksyou1) April 25, 2018
You folks are just pathetic virtue signalling at its finest!
So, did everyone just get punk'd by Nemo? Was Nemo actually making fun of people who need safe spaces in order to function, as the University of Utah just suggested over Twitter?
Either way, the real world still awaits any and all who need to use a Cry Closet - or a similar, soon to be all-too-real facsimile - to get through finals.