Polish "Vagina Beer" Contains "Essence" Of Two Smoking Hot Models

A Polish brewery has produced a unique concoction; beer with vaginal lactic acid from two smoking hot models, Paulina and Monika, whose "essences" are caputured by a gynoecologist and treated by a laboratory in the city of Poznan in order to isolate the specific bacteria required for production, according to CEO Wojciech Mann. 

"When you drink this beer, you realize that originally there was a beautiful woman who was maybe taking a shower, dancing or laughing at the very moment. You feel a close connection with this woman,” the owner of the brewery Wojciech Mann told Sputnik.

The brew, made by "The Order of Yoni" (Yoni being the Sanskrit word for vagina) boasts 8% alcohol by volume and comes in two versions; Bottled Lust and Bottled Passion. Lust contains a "subtle nutmeg aroma and is produced using Paulina's vaginal bacteria," while Passion is a "classic light beer made from the essence of Monika's vagina." 

Once the beer “containing the quintessence of femininity,” was introduced to the wider public on the brewery’s social media accounts, with a very hot advertising campaign involving Paulina and Monique, users from across the world were drawn to the Facebook page. -Sputnik

If you're wondering about STD's, fear not - "While a female netizen wondered whether the models had been tested for sexually transmitted diseases before contributing to the production of the beer, “The Order of Yoni” quickly replied that they had undergone gynecological examinations, and then the material was double-checked in the Poznan lab to make sure that the lactic acid bacteria were isolated from the smear." 

 

A post shared by The Order of Yoni (@orderofyoni) on

 

From the website: 

Imagine woman of your dreams, your object of desire. Her charm, her sensuality, her passion… Try how she tastes, feel her smell, hear her voiceNow imagine her giving you a passionate massage and gently whispering anything you'd like to hear. Now free your fantasies and imagine all of that can be closed in a bottle of beer. A golden drink brewed with her lure and grace and flavored with wild instincts. Imagine a beer which every sip offers a rendez-vous with this hot woman of your dreams… she hugs you and kisses you gently, looking straight into your eyes… How much would you give for such a beer?

We, the Order of Yoni, have prepared technology making creation of such unique beer possible. The beer containing quintessence of femininity. The technology enabling materializing her loveliness, gracefulness and character, giving you the possibility of conversion of a tasty beer into a date with real goddess.

The secret of the beer lies in her vagina. Using hi-tech of microbiology, we isolate, examine and prepare lactic acid bacteria from vagina of a unique woman. The bacteria, lactobacillus, transfer woman’s features, allure, grace, glamour, and her instincts into beers and other products, turning them into dance with lovely goddess.

The company hasn't said what it plans to do if the beer is picked up by a major distributor. Suffice to say Monika and Paulina's vaginas would be in for quite the workout. 

Comments

risk.averse Free This Sun, 08/05/2018 - 23:58 Permalink

Vatican also owns the British Crown, Magna Carta

yuck it up all you want, simpleton. How can the Catholic Vatican own the head of the Anglican Church (aka Queen Elizabeth)? A Catholic is barred from ever being a British monarch. And the Magna Carta -- say what!!???

No doubt about it...ZH needs a more active moderator. Standards here are slipping...

BTW, a Polish Pope (with an assist from Ronald Reagan) helped bring down the Soviet empire.

That the Poles are now "free" to indulge such moronic whims and tastes once again illustrates the high cost of freedom!

In reply to by Free This

are we there yet Croesus Sun, 08/05/2018 - 22:04 Permalink

Ok, if we are getting gross... For middle eastern men... Archeologists have discovered a known middle eastern ancient latrine outside of Mecca used by Mohammed. Its bacteria could be used to brew Mohammed beer, or wine. At last, the arab beer market could open up and mellow out the Middle East to be more peaceful. This specialty brew could have a motto of, 'A taste of the prophet in every bottle'....This may be a test of free speach..watch for up or down votes.

In reply to by Croesus

Lost My Shorts Max Hunter Sun, 08/05/2018 - 18:30 Permalink

Haven't you heard that probiotics are fashionable now days?  People even pay for them at WholeFoods, which is silly when your wife or girlfriend has an abundant and superior supply for free.  Seriously, what flora do you think you were born with (if you weren't born by C-section)?  It's been observed that children born by C-section have more problem with allergies because they didn't get those good natural probiotics at birth.

In old times, prior to microbiology, brewers didn't know what exactly they were using for fermentation, and a lot of it was just whatever happened to be floating around in the air.  That is partly why beers from different places were different.  The brewer's wife might have been involved, swinging her hips as she vigorously stirred the vats.  People didn't bathe much in the old days.

The odd thing about this story is -- lactic acid bacteria are used more for making "yogurt, cheese, cultured butter, sour cream, sausage, cucumber pickles, olives and sauerkraut" according to my sources, and they are usually considered a threat to spoil alcoholic beverages.

In reply to by Max Hunter