Masturbating Brits Will Need To Verify Age As Online Porn Bill "To Go Ahead"

Brits looking forward to a relaxing wank are going to have to check in first with big brother, as plan has been approved by a UK regulator which would require all porn sites to require credit card details or a government-issued ID, which would then be run through an age verification system before randy Brits can crack one off. 

The government-sponsored Regulatory Policy Committee deemed the plan designed to curb underage viewing of porn "fit for purpose," according to The Register, which notes that "The regulator will be empowered to direct internet service providers (ISPs) to block access to sites which fail to comply with appropriate AV (age verification) requirements and those which host extreme material."

And while several people inside and outside Parliament have condemned the age verification measures over privacy concerns, security issues and government overreach, nobody has done anything to stop the plan, as the House of Lords paved the way  for it in December. 

There’s likely to be several companies offering age verification systems, with 60,000 shops in Britain will offer Age Verification cards (based on shopkeeper’s assessment), which should be on offer before April.

Users who attempt to access adult content will instead see a page asking for proof of age, which will redirect them to an age verification service.

‘Tokens’ proving that people are over 18 will be stored in internet browsers, allowing users to log in to sites (once they’ve proved they’re 18 and registered with an age verification system). The Register

That said, the general consensus after a two-hour debate is that the Orwellian permission to wank to online porn won't actually solve the problem of children stumbling across the material. 

"What we have before us will not achieve what the government intend, and may actually have unintended consequences and run the risk of stalling other, better alternatives, which I think we may have to consider in due course," said Labour peer Lord Stevenson of Balmacara.

These regulations are not future proof; they are not comprehensive; they do not catch social media; they do not deal with overseas providers; they will not deal with non-photographic images and other more elaborate ways in which pornography is now being purveyed; and they do not bind together the companies involved to try to find a solution. -Lord Stevenson

"We should not delude ourselves that these measures are going to be wholly effective in preventing children viewing online pornography or that they will adequately protect the privacy of adults seeking to access legal material on commercial porn websites," added Lord Paddick.