hedgeless_horseman's Twelve Days of Christmas: the shopping list for ZeroHedge readers in your life


“Big Brother is home. He is installed in the item you just dragged home from the Apple store.”
― Julian Assange

It is that time of year, again, for hedgeless_horseman's Twelve Days of Christmas: the shopping list for ZeroHedge readers in your life.   If you are going to shop on Amazon, at least make sure to add Judicial Watch as your Amazon Smile account

1) At the top of the list, dear friends, is the gift of donating to ZeroHedge.  Tyler has been a very good boy this year.  I know of nowhere else we can exercise our First Amendment rights so vigorously and freely.  $100+

2) Second on the list is a the gift of saying, "Fuck You!" to the national security state, with a donation to WikiLeaks and the purchase of a copy of the book that Julian Assange was clutching when he was arrested in London, Gore Vidal's History of The National Security State: Includes Vidal on America, an interview by Paul Jay of The Real News Network.  $100+/$10 

3) Next, I will never forget the weeks I spent reading a Christmas gift I once received, The Complete Sherlock Holmes, all four novels and fifty-six short stories by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.  If you read it, cover to cover, then it will change the way you look at the world around you.  And we can all benefit from putting down the "smart" phone and observing the world around us.  $40

4) If you truly desire that a teenager on your list be able to read well, speak well, and love well, then give him or her, The Complete Works of William Shakespeare.  I learned much more by reading my first Shakespeare play, A Midsummer Night's Dream, than from all of the English classes I was forced to attend in high school.  $30

5) From reading my article, Pre-Reading for War in America, you know that lurking out there in the fog is my literary Moby Dick, in the massive form of Edward Gibbon's, The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, Volumes 1 to 6.  It might be the perfect gift for the Captain Ahab on your Christmas list.  $90

6) You may be surprised to learn that over the last couple of years, many of the best times we have had during the holidays with family and friends at the dinner table have not been eating dinner.  They have been playing the decades old fantasy-adventure game, Dungeons & Dragons.  I could write an entire article about the benefits and joys, starting with our children becoming experts at calculating and estimating probability through experience with rolling the different sided die.  Simply purchase these three books and several sets of 7-Die D&D game dice: Player's Handbook, Dungeon Master's Guide, Monster Manual. $90

7) I was astounded by the huge response to my ZH article, Down here, in Texas, I am seeing a big drop in economic activity over the last 6 months.  Apparently, y'all are a bunch of boozers.  If you have someone on your list that would enjoy drinking what I consider to be the finest Manhattan, in one's Sunday bath or elsewhere, then this is the gift.  And, yes, having lots and lots of good-clear ice is absolutely critical.

8) For your friends and relatives that may already raise their own protein, as described in my article, Free Range Love or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Coq, consider giving them these key tools of practical veterinary care for chickens.

9) If you are, or have, an uber_doomer on your Christmas list, then you are sure to appreciate the following stocking stuffers, which are carefully selected for their ability to be smuggled up one's ass.  That way, when we ZHers all find ourselves naked and chained to a hardened steel ring on the floor of a cold and dark rail car, we will know that we have the motherfuckers exactly where we want them.

10) As the great Hunter S. Thompson said, "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."  For the amateur pistol owner on your list, who may already carry concealed, as described in my ZH article, or a loved one that is prepared to defend his life, liberty, and property with a semi-automatic rifle, consider an open carry battle belt.  You will recognize these, if you attended one or more of the Third Annual ZH Live Fight Club and Long Gun Training Classes this year in Las Vegas, Waco, Houston, and Romney.


  • Elite Survival Systems 1.5" Shooters Belt with Cobra Buckle-Coyote Brown $59
  • Adjustable Kydex Belt Holster for your pistol, such as the Stryker by Galco $69
  • Two - High Speed Gear TACO belt mount magazine pouches - Coyote Brown $88
  • Hoffner Hand Spear Fixed Blade Knife $100
  • SureFire G2X Tactical LED Flashlight $60
  • SureFire Rugged Polymer Speed Holster $24
  • Leatherman MUT with Bit Set $160
  • Condor 3 Fold Magazine Recovery Pouch - Coyote Brown $15
  • SOF Tourniquet GEN 4 with case $50
  • Blue Force Gear Admin Pouch -  Coyote Brown $56
  • Halo Chest Seal $16
  • Two - North American Rescue ARS® Needle Decompression Kits 10 ga $30
  • Two Alcohol pads or Iodine Swabs
  • North American Rescue Flat Emergency Trauma Dressing bandage $8
  • Celox-A $28
  • Nasopharyngeal airway.  Carry your own size: Measure from nostril to the ear hole and further described by internal diameter in mm (range from 2–9 mm in half sizes) commonly 6–7 mm in an adult female and 7–8 mm for an adult male  $7
  • Oral Airway - carry your own size: large adults 5 - 6; medium adults 4 - 5; small adults size 3 - 4. $7
  • Cricothyrotomy Kit: Betadine Swab, Scalpel, Angled Forceps, ET tube size 5 and Inflation Syringe, Tape  $45
  • 3M Steri-Strip Elastic Skin Closures - 1/2" x 4" - 6 Strip Envelope $12
  • Extra Strength Tylenol packets $5
  • Ibuprofen packets $5

Always make sure to get professional firearms training and the same goes for all of the self and family first aid items in the FAK.     

11) If you have someone on your list that would like to disintermediate one or two cogs of their family's food supply, but are simply not ready, willing, or able to raise animals or grow plants, then give the gift of homemade bread.  We have been grinding our own wheat and baking our own bread for more than ten years.  It simply cannot be beat, and this wheat has a storage life of more than 30 years.

12) Finally, while writing this article, I could not help but consider the ambush in Mexico, and the dead women and children.  So very sad.  But, oddly and honestly, I also felt grateful that I have been able to give the gift to my wife and children of learning and practicing break contact drills with professionals, from a vehicle, on foot, urban, and rural.  As the maxim goes:  "Shoot; move; communicate; and shooting is the easy part."  It was move and communicate, along with a whole lot of grace, that enabled that 13 year old boy to save his six siblings.   To that end, for yourself and your loved ones, exercise your God given natural right of self defense, as currently protected under the Second Amendment, and go to Romney and learn from Max and First Sergeant exactly, "how to react to hostile threats and to maneuver under hostile fire."  Hostile Environment Advanced Tactics (HEAT 1) $850

Merry Christmas, Winter is Coming, and Let Freedom Ring this holiday season!