CNN, New Yorker Suspend Jeffrey Toobin For Masturbating During A Zoom Call

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by Tyler Durden
Monday, Oct 19, 2020 - 07:39 PM

Update (1740ET): In a stunning 'correction' from Vice, which ratchets this story up to '11' on the Spinal Tap amplifier of WTF-ness,

"This piece has been updated with more detail about the call and the headline has been updated to reflect that Toobin was masturbating."

Hey look, we understand, an accidental exposure of a penis could be rubbed off as a one-off, awkward moment but spanking the monkey, that's a hard one to get over.

Quite a multitasker!!

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From the "Not, The Onion" file (which is becoming far too regular in this farcical new normal), legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin has been suspended by CNN and The New Yorker after he exposed himself during a Zoom call last week between members of the New Yorker and WNYC radio.

“I made an embarrassingly stupid mistake, believing I was off-camera,” Mr. Toobin said in a statement to Vice, which reported the incident and the magazine’s investigation.

“I apologize to my wife, family, friends and co-workers.”

“I believed I was not visible on Zoom,” Mr. Toobin said of the call, which Vice, citing unnamed sources, said took place last week.

“I thought no one on the Zoom call could see me. I thought I had muted the Zoom video.” Mr. Toobin could not be immediately reached on Monday afternoon.

Natalie Raabe, a spokesperson for the New Yorker, confirmed that “Toobin has been suspended while we investigate the matter,” Vice reported. 

"Generously", CNN has "granted" Toobin some time off too...

It appears Mr. Toobin is popular among Canadian Twitterati...

Exactly how such an 'accident' happens during (or even near) a business Zoom call is unclear, but as the details 'firm up', social media erupted in mockery...