The Democratic leaders in Congress really should have checked with Central Casting before picking the stars of their passion play: “The Impeachment and Destruction of Donald Trump.”
Former National Security Council staffer Fiona Hill was supposed to appear as a principled and dignified heroine. Instead, her virulent hate, ignorance and contempt for Russia were apparent to all. And she looked uncannily identical to the late Alan Rickman playing Severus Snape in the Harry Potter movies.
Congressman Adam Schiff chaired the House Intelligence Committee hearing and was supposed to be the wise, fearless and incorruptible chairman. Instead, the camera’s cruel, unblinking eye revealed him as a buffoon – and a sinister one at that.
Schiff’s round bald dome was identical to Mussolini’s and his ridiculous bulging eyes are those of Christopher Lloyd’s evil cartoon villain Judge Doom in the Hollywood movie “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?”
The supposedly heroic Lieutenant Colonel Alexander Vindman of the National Security Council was even worse – Presented as an all-American Patriot, instead he resembled the thick, hulking brutal thug that Hollywood Central Casting always chooses to play endless Russian intelligence service or criminal villains in thousands of bad primetime TV shows.
Kurt Volker was almost as bad. He was the quiet cool, calm, bespectacled villain – always a CIA bureaucrat and usually played by Ronnie Cox – who wants to feed Matt Damon, Brad Pitt, Steven Seagal or Bruce Willis to the villains.
And of course – the Real Hero could not appear at all. The Whistleblower’s identity is being jealously guarded – though as Senator Rand Paul has pointed out, everyone knows who he is and – far from being a Disinterested Pure Hero, he was a CIA veteran and former senior National Security Council official outspoken in his contempt for the President of the United States: In other words, yet another anonymous Deep State manipulator and apparatchik.
No doubt he will be revealed as the winner on the Fox Television Channel’s popular show, “The Masked Singer.”
Or perhaps he will reveal himself in an exclusive interview with a fawning Rachel Maddow, still masked and identified as “The Lone Ranger.”
Now Rand Paul does have the looks, the bearing, the moral fervor and the dramatic character to play the hero in this botched fiasco of a drama. But there is only one small problem. He is on the other side. He has forcefully publicly defended President Donald Trump.
Gravity – Albert Einstein assures us – “bends” light (A dubious assertion at best but at least Einstein, unlike Schiff and Company Looked the Part he always played – Lovable, Child-Like Jewish Genius Who Never Gets a Hair Cut) And Trump Derangement Syndrome (TDS) has bent the brains of movie directors Nancy Pelosi and Schiff.
Trump Derangement Syndrome: a fearful, incurable affliction more terrible and humiliating than Alzheimer’s: Better to forget who you are than remember you are a hate-crazed, foaming at the mouth, credulous idiot who will believe anything.
Like all policy wonks of their aging generation of corrupt and complacent Baby Boomers, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and House Judiciary Committee Chairman Schiff have salivated at the thought of inflicting a “Watergate 2” impeachment drama comeuppance on Donald Trump.
But the Villain of Watergate, Richard Nixon, was indeed an inept and more than slightly sinister creep (and lifelong liberal). He looked the part and he exuded pious bogus ineptitude on camera his entire career. (Nixon’s inspiration for how he projected himself on television was clearly Jack Webb playing Sergeant Joe Friday in the wonderfully badly acted “Dragnet” police series on US television in the 1950s.)
By contrast, Donald Trump channels John Wayne, the most popular and enduring movie star in American history:
Trump is a physically big and fearless New York construction businessman turned immensely successful popular entertainer. He, like Wayne is a natural athlete. It is a matter of public record ignored by all fearful liberal wimps that Trump really was offered a contract after college to be Major League Baseball player for the Phillies, but he turned it down to focus on his business career.
Working class American Heartland men and women over 40 instinctively loved Wayne and therefore they love Trump too. Aging American feminists like Hillary Clinton and Elizabeth Warren – and the further they are over 50, the more rabid and rage crazed and insane they become – hated Wayne and are traumatized by his resurrection as a defining national culture hero nearly four decades after his physical death echoing in the figure of Trump.
It was Trump’s genius at silent reaction shots that ridiculed 17 Republican Congress members, Senators and Governors in the 2015-16 campaign before he even began to turn his wit and video skills on Hillary Clinton – a creepy Richard Nixon clone if there was one.
Trump was crafted by Fate and his brilliant media career from The Apprentice to Worldwide Wrestling Central Casting to be the Hero of Impeachment. Making him the villain reverses the entire emotional dynamic of the drama. It is like casting James Stewart as Nixon. (At worst, Trump is classic King Kong eternally plagued by those pesky biplanes: And everybody roots for Kong)
Liberals who loved Watergate went into emotional frenzies over Nixon’s imagined humiliation at the hands of such ludicrous pompous and overpaid fools as Dan Rather of CBS.
Pelosi and her laughably misnamed “advisers” have learned nothing from all this. This week, we are seeing yet more interminable biased show-trial hearings and the even more ludicrous Jerrold Nadler has taken center stage. He looks like Frankenstein’s dwarf –servant Igor in Mel Brooks’ classic 1973 comic horror movie “Young Frankenstein.”
The bottom line on why Impeachment has failed so miserably to whip up a storm or convince anyone beyond the already committed “Trump Must Go”, babies-throwing-tantrums across Liberal America lies in the childishness and elemental incompetence of its cast and directors. Being repulsive and ridiculous human beings themselves, they have no clue how obvious it would be that they would appear that way to everyone else.