San Francisco Blows $94 Million This Year In Failed War On Human Excrement

Despite spending over $94 million - or around $257k per day this year, San Francisco is still a needle-infested, poo-covered, failed experiment in tolerance that continues to scare major conferences and their tourist dollars away from the city's $9 billion-a-year industry.

According to the San Francisco Chronicle, "while progress has been made, the effort remains a losing battle," despite paying 'poop patrollers' nearly $200,000 to manage the town's fecal fiasco.

Hilariously, while Mayor London Breed participated in a media blitz in response to software giant Oracle's decision to move their massive annual convention to Las Vegas after two decades in SF, an image of a guy taking a shit in a local Safeway was going viral. Like hepatitis C.

The years of trench warfare between cleanup crews and bad actors was laid out clearly in two images Monday.

The first image was of Mayor London Breed flanked by city, civic and tourist industry leaders standing together in front of the giant Christmas tree at Union Square. The intent was to reassure tourists that the city is taking seriously concerns about its squalid streets and people behaving badly.

While that was happening an image of a man with his pants around his knees defecating in a Marina Safeway aisle was rocketing around the internet and TV. -SF Chronicle

"We don’t want Oracle to be the beginning of a trend," said SF Travel CEO Joe D'Alessandro, adding: "If that becomes the case, San Francisco will be in for some very tough times."

D’Alessandro noted that 33% of the 1,282 tourists questioned in a survey this year commissioned by agency cited homelessness and dirty streets as the least attractive aspects of visiting the city. Other dings against San Francisco — traffic and parking came in second, at 29%, and the high cost of visiting the city was third, at 13%.

That said, the survey, which was done by market researchers Destination Analysts over a 10-month period, found that despite the homelessness, dirty streets and expense, 97% of the hotel visitors said that they are likely to return to San Francisco. -SF Chronicle

"Do people love or hate San Francisco? Well, it’s really both," D'Alessandro opined. "What concerns us is that convention planners are a much more selective breed. Our street conditions and costs could tip the destination selection to somewhere else that doesn’t have these same issues, and we could lose significantly."