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Saturday Satire: Trudeau Vows To Break Biden's Record For Consecutive Days Hiding In The Basement

Tyler Durden's Photo
by Tyler Durden
Sunday, Feb 06, 2022 - 02:30 AM

Authored (satirically) by Simon Balck via SovereignMan.com,

Two days into his courageous, self-imposed quarantine after testing positive for COVID-19, the triple vaccinated Canadian Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, vowed to remain in hiding for “as long as it takes” to break Joe Biden’s record.

“I know there are legions of angry truckers out there rampaging across our capital city. But right now my highest duty as Prime Minister is to remain in my basement and watch PornHub.”

When asked by sole, carefully selected reporter who was allowed to attend the press conference how long he expected to remain in isolation, Trudeau replied,

“Well, since there’s actually no public health reason for me to be in isolation, I’m pretty much going to keep making it up as I go along. I know that President Biden had spent a record 63 consecutive days in his basement during the 2020 campaign, and I’m certain I can break that record. So basically I’ll be here as long as it takes.”

The Prime Minister went on to explain that he had even been in touch with Dr. Anthony Fauci from the United States to find out how long #science says he could remain quarantined in his basement.

Dr. Fauci’s reply? “Forever.”

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