Meet The New Streaming Service For Short Attention Spans And Ridiculous Content

Quibi is a company that is trying to capitalize on the ever deteriorating attention span of the consumer.

The service aims to compete with TikTok and YouTube by creating professional content people can watch on their phones that's cut down to 7 minute segments - far shorter than traditional 22 minute TV shows. 

The platform is also taking advantage of consumers' incessant need for the ridiculous. Some of the ideas it is launching its service with include "a cooking contest where competitors are slammed in the face with meals fired out of a cannon, a show about customized dog houses called 'Barkitecture', and a home-renovation program that 'removes the stains' from houses where murders were committed," according to Bloomberg

And of course, Wall Street loves the idea. Quibi has already raised $2 billion from investors both on Wall Street and in Hollywood. The platform starts up next month. 

On Friday, the company finally revealed what its programming slate would look like. Led by movie mogul Jeffrey Katzenberg and former HP Inc. CEO Meg Whitman, the service will also offer scripted shows and news programs. 

For instance, Reese Witherspoon will star in a show about the "females of the animal kingdom" (whatever the hell that means) and Sophie Turner will star in a show where she plays a plane-crash survivor trying to navigate and survive in the wilderness. 

Celebrities like Mark Wahlberg, Jennifer Lopez and Idris Elba have all signed on to make shows with the platform, as well. The service is planning on launching with 50 shows on April 6, which will then quickly turn to 175 original shows with 8,500 "quick bites of content". 

At $5 per month, the question is up in the air whether or not the consumer will shell out for short sensational content. Our take? Why would they? It's available all for free on YouTube and Twitter already. But, far be it for us to underestimate the stupidity of the consumer. We'll check back in during April to see how the platform is holding up.