Dictator Xi's American Cleanup Tour

Tyler Durden's Photo
by Tyler Durden
Monday, Nov 20, 2023 - 12:50 AM

By Eric Peters, CIO of One River Asset Management

“I know folks say - Oh, they’re just cleaning up this place because all these fancy leaders are coming into town,” said Gavin Newsom, licking the still-damp pressure-washed sidewalks of San Fran’s Tenderloin, the press snapping away. “And that’s true…because it’s true,” continued California’s governor, praying that Xi Jinping’s visit would position him as a serious leader should President Biden stumble a few more times between now and next November.

“But it’s also true for months and months and months prior to APEC we’ve been having different conversations, and we’ve raised the bar of expectation between the city, the county, the state, and our federal partners,” said Gavin, America’s fever perhaps finally breaking, a California politician appearing to condemn, however gently, the senseless forfeit of a great city to tents, rampant crime, drug abuse, squalor.

Portland’s mayor saw Newsom’s press conference and immediately called the Chinese embassy in DC, to beg for a state visit from Xi. He was put on hold. Seattle’s governor was ahead of him in the queue. Naturally Baltimore’s war-torn mayor had been first to call, but Chicago’s mayor had front run the order by piggybacking Citadel’s high-speed connection.

“Could Mr. Jinping please come visit our South Side? Just a quick drive by? High-speed, anything, please?” the mayor pleaded.

Yellen considered asking Xi to swing by Treasury to clean up our chronic deficit but felt it better to leave this historic challenge for her successor. New York City’s Mayor Adams, not one to defund the police unless forced to by budget cuts, was too busy explaining to his constituents that the migrant crisis would cost the city $11bln over the coming two years (next year’s $110bln NYC budget will contain a $7bln deficit).

Governor Abbott was tempted to have Xi come clean up the mess on his border, but communists are obviously not welcome in Texas.

Regardless, on this issue too, America’s fever was breaking. And with New York’s Governor Hochul seeking a more sensible approach to immigration, the creation of a sovereign border of some practical significance was finally on the horizon.