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It's Time To Talk About The Shitting...

Tyler Durden's Photo
by Tyler Durden
Authored...

Authored by Steve Watson via Modernity News,

The "enrichment" we were sold was cuisine, music and vibrant street life. What arrived, in town after town, is a sanitation standard the UN still spends billions trying to wipe out of third world nations.

Open defecation is not a Western urban myth. WHO and UNICEF still count hundreds of millions of people doing it in fields, ditches and open ground. Nigeria sits near the top of the league table. India, despite a national toilet-building drive, still records tens of millions.

When you import the people at scale and refuse to enforce the most basic public standards, you import the habit. The footage is now so routine it has become a genre.

A children's park is next. Nothing says community cohesion like a man treating a playground as an outdoor latrine and finishing the job by hand.

Truly, the contribution to British civic life is immeasurable.

Notting Hill Carnival has been doing this for years. A resident's doorbell captured carnival-goers treating her property as a trench for shitting and pissing all day. Some even apologised to the camera. Sadiq Khan's London treats the event as a celebration.

Susan Watts, 69, recorded dozens of people using the space by her front door after earlier carnivals and told the Daily Mail the stench left it "like being in a filthy toilet." The council quoted her £75 to jet-wash a private area. Dignity, it turns out, has a surcharge.

Oxford Street is London's main retail drag. When you have to put up signs telling adults not to defecate on it, the experiment has already failed.

Birmingham now has the same notices.

The NHS gets it too. An intoxicated man who has already fouled himself refuses to leave A&E. Staff time, corridor space, and public patience all redirected to a problem that starts with the same refusal to use a toilet.

Spain and Italy get the same treatment.

A drinking fountain in Spain with the tap used as an anal bidet, on a fixture children drink from.

Rome, once the capital of a vast empire, now the toilet of the world.

Canada is not spared.

Vancouver's own figures are not a vibe. City data and CTV reporting put faeces removals in the first two months of 2025 at 1,870. 2023 saw 19,900 collections. 2024 still logged 17,670.

Business groups run "Poop Fairy" patrols because the municipal programme is too slow.

The Nigerian government has spent years running campaigns begging its own citizens to stop doing this in public. Billboards, World Toilet Day speeches, a "Clean Nigeria: Use the Toilet" drive. Vice President Kashim Shettima said access to toilets is "about dignity, health, and safety."

UNICEF has repeatedly placed Nigeria among the world's worst for open defecation, with tens of millions still practising it.

India remains in the same conversation even after Swachh Bharat. The habit did not vanish because a plane ticket was purchased.

The historic town of Cambridge in the UK has already taken the next logical step: if the arrivals prefer squatting and shitting all over the floor, the host city will install facilities to enable just that. Labour-run Cambridge City Council spent nearly £1 million on a Silver Street toilet block that includes squat-style cubicles "preferred by some international visitors," then charges £1 to use them.

Resident Heather Boyd told the BBC: "I certainly think if I'm going to spend £1, I'm not going to squat as well. That is absolutely crazy." Britain spent centuries perfecting the flush toilet. Now taxpayers are paying in order for the third world to squat into a hole.

How culturally enriching. How much these individuals are contributing. The GDP of public health risk, the tourism brochure of a high street that needs pictograms of a squatting figure with a red line through it.

If Trafalgar Square's Fourth Plinth is meant to reflect London and the UK as it really is, Here's the next statue:

Still, it could be worse. And it is.

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